well.. i finally decided to update.... things that i really wish that i can open my mouth to other people but i really dont know how to put it... so i decided to blog it....
recently... i have been listening a song in billy's car... and that song was actually the song where me and my friends kacau a feller when the girl he loves is going overseas... those times were really the memories... 7 ppl... taking a waja from KLIA back 2 PJ... singing this song in the car.... really meaningful lyrics...
你那么爱她，为什么不把她留下.... walao eh... this 1... seriously dam 9 lat... well... this verse... i hope i can do it... but its totally impossible... time is really a factor this time.... but i am really sure of what i want now.... she.... is just a very very very good friend of mine.... when ever i really need help... ill go to her... she will help me... when she is leavin 2 aussie... i honestly dunno whom can i talk 2 about my problems...
2 months more... she will be boarding an aeroplane to aussie... arrgh.... i promissed something special for her bday pressie... i dunno what 2 get for her... honestly... i wan to give her the best memories that i can give her... as i really doubt ill be seeing her anymore... she said she wont b coming back... she is a really good friend 2 me... i dont know how 2 express my self... its like... letting her go will be my biggest regret but she has 2 further her studies...
another thing... i found out that i have totally lost confidence in my self after what happened 2 years ago... and... yea... that really affected me psychologically... no doubt... ever since then i have never started a relationship its just because I'D rather be friends with the person than in the end losing a friend that i actually loved b4... its maybe bcoz i actually put in everything in my last relationship and its being fucked in this way... and after the broke up... she ignored me for a year... till beginning of this year... and started messing up my life.... since she has screwed my life up 2 years ago... y bothering screwing it up again now??
tis girl... i dunno how 2 explain... the feeling is there.... and yes... i do love her.... i am very sure of what i want now... after the reflection i made... my friend... yew choong... giving me all the advice... he said... dont need 2 shy... just let her know... well... i am affraid ill be ignored... get what i mean... being ignored is like living under a well... for the moment... the only thing i can do is... wait... and see....... dont make my moves 2 fast... but also not 2 slow....
my finals is starting on thursday.... theater 1000... i am a certified failure for this sub... i dunno how 2 help my self... but... yea i failed... its a 100% on monday... ill be having geo 1000... which i dont even know how well i did through the whole sem... and the bloody lecturer aint giving any tips for D exam... wed... morning will be english 1050... which i dunno how well i did also.... afternoon will be com 1700... which i got 47/60 a bit screwed up... but... i think i could live with it....
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