Taiwan & Depression

once again ive been to the doctor.. mild depression is what he said.. sigh... i guess thats me? he said i went to taiwan this trip has made my depression improved a little.. i guess so... too many things here disappointed me.. friends, family.. i really hope i could leave home and.. yup i will be quite soon...

my application to taiwan's university is in the progress and i planned to go to nan hua university.. both my heng dai are there and we kinda have the same interest. i havent chose what am i going to study yet but hopefully this will be the last choice i have to make in my studies.. business management or life and death studies... i am interested in both of them..

generally tuition fees in taiwan are way cheaper den here .. besides that i have a chance to leave home without being nagged and all.. environment of that uni is kinda good.. loved it.. and the best part.. i get to organize camp for kids there... every 3 months i have 1 chance.. well thats the time i really enjoy.. being a kid again, not bothering how others think and how crazy we could be... thinking about this i miss you suria... you are the only 1 that could play wid me till so gila.. dunno de ppl think we are 5 years old.. lol

have been staying home for 3 days.. and feeling better.. at least i don't get all depressed by getting last min cancellation of plans.. this time b4 i leave i must really meet a few people that i promised to meet the last time.. hopefully ill have the chance larh..

爱一个人是那么的痛苦，
我没有勇气对你说一声我爱你，
但我给了自己少少的勇气稍微暗示了你，
为什么你会给我不相信回音？
我真的不知道你是如何想的。。
在我心目中只有一个大问号和失望。。。
他们对我说希望越大，失望越大。。
难道你真的不止的我去爱你吗？



给你的话。。。希望你懂你是谁。。

these words has been stucked in my heart and brain for some time... some 1 please give me the guts to say i love you to her.. should i say i am a coward?? i used to say i dont hope the person would love me back.. but this time.. no idea why.. i have that hope in mind..