100th post..

well.. its the 100th post in my blog.. took kinda a long time.. but well.. i am here...

she made my day today.. seeing her sweet smile.. i love her...
never seen her smile for a long time.. no idea why... but at least she was happy today...
i am proud to say that i am feeling happy today and at the moment i could strike out the emo word..

i extended my work in robinsons till the 13th of January and.. i really do love working there because of the crazy people on my floor... though at times its kinda boring... i learned quite alot of stuff from cleaning up the store to doing porter service for customers.. am quite happy there... and its my first time lasting in a departmental store for a month!! so proud of my self..

praying hard i will see that smile i always want to see everyday for the rest of my life... dinner time..bye ppl

monday...

its the beginning of another week.. and... its so dam boring.. went back to work today and... because of the 4 days break... i am not used to standing for this long time... my leg hurts... went for lunch with my colleagues.. i ditched them 1/2 way and lied to them that i am going to collect my pay check... sorry ppl... i actually went and see her..

i really don't understand why.. and what made her angry... her face was all black.. and didn't want to say a word.. all she know is showing me her black face and not explaining anything... i really don't understand... yesterday she was angry at me about her hard disc.. because i took it from her 2 weeks ago and i promised it to get back to her in 1 week IF my cousins are not using the computer.. and true enough.. she was angry of me like hell.. keep scolding me.. yea.. i know i am wrong... and i am really sorry... and what i said to you yesterday nite... am really sorry about that.. i was so angry till the volcano exploded on my head...

its 10pm now.. kinda tired... and really dam angry with everything... my self.. my life... and the thing i am really emo about is.... things that i cant get... AND REEN... I KNOW WHAT I WANT... LOL...

伤心，悲痛，生病

那句话都不因该改，希望越大，失望越大。。。
为什么我还是那么笨？进过了一次的失败，我不因该在放那么大的希望在感情上。。
以为她会和别人不同，原来，都是一样的。。
难道我对她不够好吗？难道我那么难和她相处吗？
是你再骗自己还是是我再骗我自己？
感觉上真的很伤心和悲痛，只能怪自己无能为力，对你不够好。
不过我干焱你对我说你对我没其他意思,我们还能继续当朋友。。
希望你别在避开我了。。。

havent been to work for 2 days ad... having fever and flu... i am really sick of everything... work,life,friends,and more... finally today i am having a little peace because my cousins went to my aunt's house for the weekend... should i go to work because i haven been to work on thurs and friday?? i need to forget about the past and move on with my life... cant bare being emo every single day..

when will be the day i can remove the emo word from my life??

far apart...

why do i feel so far apart from her when we are actually so close? i didn't treat her good enough? or i am being too nice to her? i really don't know... at times it just seems like its possible and at times it seems that theres like a 0% chance... i really don't know.. ow god... help me... i really do... i really do love her from the bottom of my heart... which part of me seems telling a lie?? i wish i could bare not talking to you for days... but i just cant... everyday i hope i get to see you.. but its impossible... and now... some how i feel you are avoiding me.. well.. if you feel me disturbing you.. just tell me... i will get out of your life.. and you will feel beta ...

today woke up late but was still early to work... met andrew.. good to know he is doing in freelance property line... and i met yap poh ling... the bitch since highschool... i cant forget her lansi face... she works at the same place as me.. but luckily she works at the ground floor... work in robinsons is getting from bad to worst... i mean its freakin boring... i hate standing there doing nothing .. came home early also today.. its like 7pm and i am home... should i say.. i am freaking lazy and feeling very boring...

i am giving up in my life.. losing the confidence that i use to have.. losing everything that i use to have.. and i really pray hard that i will lose the life that i have now... or should i say... just being emo about every single thing in my life till the point of not living has came?? hopefully there is like something cool in my life that can really cheer me up soon enough...

work work

work... really tiring lar.. today was kinda good.. but tired.. learnt a few extra stuff... and time passed really fast.... at times i feel working here is really so god dam boring... but... at most times... it is dam fun larh.. those people.. are really crazy... haha... we joke on the floor... dance... and even laughing like no 1's business... tomorrow is tuesday... and i hope it will be another fun day... eating in midvalley really costs a bomb... a meal would cost about 7-8 bucks if you are eating in those higher class place.. and it will cost like 6 bucks to eat in mamak... really wtf... so i had to tapau for the rest of my days when i am working there....if i dont... god dam... have to eat plain rice.. with loads of curry sauce... thats about my work..

my life... really stinks day by day... life really starts to bore me once again... day by day passes like it was just a minute ago... i mean.. really not enough time.. i hate my self for waysting so much time in my life... i really do... time is so precious... but yet... i dont know what i want in my life..i am 19 already... and turning 20 in like 6 months time... y do i feel so useless larh... 1st... i cant get the thing i want... and.. seriously thinking about it... maybe i didnt work hard enough or maybe i just didnt carry my self well enough...

well... its kinda late ad.. have to work tomorrow... morning shift mah... gd nite ppl

weekend at last...

finally its friday... and... yup.. i have off days on both sat and sunday... thats cool larh... i have been lazy this week.. working 1 hour short everyday... i shall be rajin again next week working all my hours and get the cash... as usual... i am dead tired.. physically.. but... mentally... still the same... emoed about every single thing.... coming to think about it.. life really sux...

few things came to my mind while working... should i start my next semester? should i continue with sunway? what should i study? i am really stucked in between of everything... my family,friends,age,work and mostly my studies... coming to think about that.. i wonder... how many friends do i really have?? lol.. tats a good question... not many...

maybe i shall just smoke my self to hell.. and dont even have to worry about anything

almost dead... or mayb dead

wow.. i just realized i havent been bloggin for a few donkey years!!... ermh... well... basically.. i am working in the gardens rite now.. in Robinsons.. today is my 7th day of work.. and its really starting to bore me... and another thing is that.. its freakin cold that you could actually cant feel your legs... the worst part of working there is the pay really stinks... RM5 an hour.. and i have to carry heavy stuff.. moving up and down.. and even carrying customer's items to their car..

i am happy that i know a few more people in my life and... yea i have a nice friend there.. indian dude... dam cool... and also the head of my department.. not bad larh... the best part.. i do have "ehem" breaks with him... but i dunno why... day by day i dont feel like going to work there anymore... mayb its too boring and there are like loads of stuff to do when sales is like NOW??

enough about my workin life... i have seriously no idea what i want now... or mayb i know.. but i just dont want to face the fact... kinda sick of my life... recently.. i realized sumthing... me and her... is a totally 0% chances of being together... well... it sux when you love that person... and you really put high hopes in it... den you just realize that it wont really work out because we are totally different?? now at this moment.. i really hope i can forget her... hopefully not by avoiding her...

and yea... my dear friend requested me to write about her... and here it goes.......
Name: Wai Mun Yee
Age: 16
Sex: Female
Outlooks: Cute(ps she made me say that)

well cut the crap.. lolx.. its 11.10pm now.. and i am going to work A shift tomorrow ... hopefully i will update soon lar... nitez