說完了

該說的都說了，希望你有想到一個好答案。
我對你的感覺你因該知道，不用我多說。
我心裏想聽到的答案，因該不可能從你口中說出來，不過是希望會聽到。
你的反應真的很奇怪，還是我的想法奇怪？
好無奈，好不快樂，希望問題很快能解決

好想面對面和你說幾句話，不過感覺你因該不肯過來了吧


建霖，小揉和阿建謝謝你們的生日禮物。。
bros and sis thanks for the warm wishes, those really made my day....
even those we didnt contact for a long time remembered by birthday, thanks..

生日又如何?怎麽沒開心的感覺?

生日..21嵗了
願望有兩個,一切如此就好.
希望不只是這樣

times are spent memories are remembered, love is there chance not given.. sigh...

擔心了整晚，這就是我的生日禮物，生日的今天心情很不好，很不開心。。。好希望能離開，好希望有個人陪我讓我開心，讓我快樂。。。

好累，好累

精神上的累，你到底想什麽？
好好的體力被精神引向，埃
對自己的肯定漸漸減少
感覺好無奈。

和你說聲對不起，希望你能原諒
怎麽最近的態度都差了？
我敏感了？

好多疑問
請解答我所有的疑問
好想回到以前，一切的改變我都能接受
只不想改變一點，但暫時看到改變最大就是這個

好不開心，好累
who knows?
who cares?

guessing another hopeless ending
down down down.. when is it going to be stable?

一切的無奈

一段路雖然可以自己走，一個人走會很孤獨也很危險
擔心一個人的感覺真的不好受，當時堅持自己的想法就不會有今天。
所有的一切已近開始改變，昨天開始。
告訴你了，一切一定會有改變，現在感覺最大的改變是你對我的態度。
每次問到只和我說是我想太多，到底是不是？
好無奈，好不開心

昨天去台中純粹是爲了善心，怎知道一天的旅程又有不開心的完畢。
我也要付點責任，對不起。

一切的變化業不在我手裏控制，希望一切不像夢裏那樣的結束。
好不開心。。好希望有個人可以陪我。爲什麽感覺那麽孤獨？

Changes..loneliness, sadness

真的很不想一切的改變...最不想要有的改變是我們的關係
追進的改變非常的大，可能這一切就是因爲他們...

being closed to you is just because of them?
we are friends its because of them?
changes because i shifted?

好不想有變化，我搬出去的理由我很想告訴別人，心裏很不舒服... 這幾天忙的過程很不開心，想告訴人家，雖能接個耳朵給我？我是不是不被歡迎了？好不開心，誰可以聼聼我的心事？好無奈.希望21嵗生日所有都是假的，好希望生日那天有個人陪我聊聊... 或者生日那天就可能預料之中的一個人自己過...

歌手：溫嵐 | 作曲：周杰倫
　　填詞：鄭中庸 |

　　我知道傷心不能改變什麼
　　那麼　讓我誠實一點
　　誠實　難免有不能控制的宣洩
　　只要關上了門　不必理誰
　＊一個人坐在空蕩包廂裡面
　　手機　讓它休息一夜
　　難　像切歌切掉回憶的畫面
　　眼淚不能流過十二點
　　生日快樂　我對自己說
　　蠟燭點了　寂寞亮了
　　生日快樂　淚也融了
　　我要謝謝你給的你拿走的一切＊
　＃還愛你　帶一點恨
　　還要時間　才能平衡
　　熱戀傷痕　幻滅重生
　　祝我生日快樂＃
　　REPEAT＊＃＃

difference in culture

yeah...culture difference.. cant agree more ... people here and there though we are all humans but difference in culture really hard to adept...

自己做好自己的本分！<< this is what i really need to do.. sigh...

爲什麽要吊高來買？爲什麽事情要弄得那麽復炸？人類需要那麽復炸的想法嗎？埃好奇怪，好討厭...我需要的只是簡單的你，不想有什麽改變...希望我想知道的東西都能知道

a little quarrel

things have changed? maybe... well once sure with what i want i should be firm with it.. hopefully i wont be soft hearted again.. =)

loving a person is not easy.. maybe i don't even know how to love some one... i guess instead of trying harder i should just learn how to love the person...

recently feeling sad and lonely.. who can i talk to?

tag..

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: 烏龍綠
2. Last phone call: my Mum
3. Last text message: 鍋蓋
4. Last song you listened to: 美麗女人
5. Last time you cried: Don't Remember

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Obviously
7. Been cheated on: Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Nope
9. Lost someone special: I think every 1 has
10. Been depressed: Yea, well knowing me all moody and all
11. Been drunk and threw up: Drunk? once.. Threw up? loads

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Black
13. White
14. Blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a few friends: Nope, getting less... Feeling lonely lolx
16. Fallen out of love: sigh.. nope...
17. Laughed until you cried: yeah.. missed those times we had
18. Met someone who changed you: yup one..
19. Found out who your true friends were: yup, a few good ones...
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Back stabbed loads of times, biasa la
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Ermh... yup...
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Lost count
23. How many kids do you want to have: definately more than 1
24. Do you have any pets: Not currently, 2 of my dogs died
25. Do you want to change your name: Are you Crazy?
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Didn't celebrate it.
27. What time did you wake up today: 1.39pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: On my way out to a place
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: be together with her, leaving this country
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 4-5 months ago, miss her
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Wish i could speak better
32. What are you listening to right now: Sounds from the aquarium
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ermh i dont have any friends named tom
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: My house mates
35. Most visited webpage: facebook, blogger
36. Whats your real name: Chin Wai Xiang
37. Nicknames: loads, Monk, Fatty, 肥仔，胖子，胖哥，小胖
38. Relationship Status: Single..
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini
40. Male or female?: Male
41. Elementary?: Tadika Cendiakiawan
42. Middle School?: SRJK(C)Damansara
43. High school/college: Genting College, SM Stella Maris, Sunway University College, Nan Hua University(Taiwan)
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: Not short not Long
46. Height: 181CM
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yes i do
48. What do you like about yourself?: I don't know my self well also.. dont know
49. Piercings: None
50. Tattoos: None
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: 3-4months old
53. First piercing: Don't even have piercings
54. First best friend: Jonathan Teoh
55. First sport you joined: Swimming
56. First vacation: Thailand
58. First pair of trainers: Forgotten

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Wont be feeling hungry if i am eating
60. Drinking: Soon will be
61. I'm about to:Get a Drink.
62. Listening to: Sound from Aquarium
63. Waiting on: A friend to reply me on MSN

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Love kids
65. Get Married?: hmm... most probably
66. Career?: Anything as long as i get money

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs&kisses equally good
69. Shorter or taller: Middle height will be good
70. Older or Younger: Girls? around my age will do XX
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: lol... Dont give me spare tires
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive and Loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: Preferable relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: The person who tagged me? A MAJOR TROUBLE MAKER

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Obviously nop
77. Drank hard liquor: Yeah
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't need them
79. Sex on first date: Nope..
80. Broken someone's heart: yes i guess
82. Been arrested: Yup few years ago.
83. Turned someone down: No as far as i remember.
84. Cried when someone died: Nope
85. Fallen for a friend?: If she's not my friend how would i fall for her?


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: sometimes
87. Miracles: Sometimes
88. Love at first sight: Yeah
89. Heaven: Nope
90. Santa Claus: NOOOO
91. Kiss on the first date: hmm.. once in my life..
92. Angels: Nope...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Nope...
95. Did you sing today?: Yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nope...
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 7 years back
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: the day b4 i came to taiwan.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Most of the times..
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Just because wana satisfy that woman and make my self occupied...

Because of you...

Because of you life has never been the same
Because of you life are filled with color
Because of you even during the nights there is a moonlight
Because of you boring days just became filled with excitement
Because of you i have less sleepless nights
Because of you I dont feel lonely
Because of you time i only wish to spend with is you
Because of you my problems are solved
Because of you i have a little more guts in life
Because of you my life in taiwan just changed

Feeling lonely without your blessings and love, feeling the same being unsafe, not hoping for much just hoping for the confirmation as you have 1/2 the feelings i have for you. i guess that is all i need. are those about me? or only partially? i have no idea... hoping you would tell me..
please give me the light that i need.. really hoping for not nothing but everything. every second every minute just hoping to spend with you, if thats about me, give me the same confirmation as i am trying very hard to give you.

worry about your everything,hopefully given the chance to be there for you, taking care of you, loving you without pulling back, and i want to say is i love you too much to give up, loving you is my everything.

End of a Story

being funny and all does not mean you are all smart =) know what i mean? I am surely not a person good in talking, and thats for sure. love me for who i am and hate me for who i am too. till today i am still quite sure i give good advices and am a good listener. as long as you dont get issues to annoy me like you did.! Hate little secrets that keeps every thing in the world so not peaceful. wonder when could i leave this place and live in a place without secrets? yes i do hate lies though i tell them from time to time. some lies are good as they are white lies, it does not hurt any 1 even if the person knew the truth. hopefully you will learn how to tell the truth some day.

Am going for a quite unpleasent trip today as the person i dated don't really want to go. but she will be going. What's the outcome? i dont know.. not hoping for a better life but just hoping for a good day.

Again and again you broke my heart, telling me things that you dont want to do in the last minuite, prefered to be rejected at the first place than being given a hope going out with you. Hate it. The feelings i have for you has never changed, oh wait yes it has change, changing for the better. i have no idea what i do or what i had done wrong making you think this way about me. praying hard for a better day. waking up today seeing you by my bedside made me happy, the smile you had when you are asleep is just sweet.

我需要一個健康的身體！！需要一個很能了解我的人在我身邊，很希望你能接給我你的耳朵，聼聼我的心裏話。在和我說聲嗯。

一句話的後果

你們和我說的話都很矛盾，干嘛不直接說就好？要傷心就一次過就好了爲什麽要一時和我說的是希望一時和我說的是失望？很討厭這種感覺...

每天起來都很希望你的想法是如我妹妹所說的，据我的了解我都很難搞清楚不過也覺得是我妹所說。很希望一切不是這樣。多希望是有一次機會....

Mothers day

firstly happy mothers day to all the mothers out there..

yesterday was wesak day and yes i was vegetarian for a day.. came out successfully but 1 thing was after my meal and a little rest i became sick.. whole body full of rashes.. sigh... itchy and i feel all dizzy + having cold sweat.. thats about yesterday..

Do People Learn?
at first i thought i am the only 1 having this feeling in the end i found out today actually you also have this feeling.. is it the right way having a partnership this way? and what gives you the right to be the big boss? how much work have you done? please.. you really make me laugh...

最近感覺很奇怪，可能是我想太多，一個距離本來存在，現在的距離大了很多怎麽會這樣？
walaupun diberitahu tiada perasaan ini, tetapi saya pasti tentang perasaan saya. tentang kamu, mungkin bukan semua orang mempunyai perasaan yang sama.bila hampir mabuk seorang akan beritahu apa yang dia suka dalam hati dia..

lol you were right...

yeah.. should have listened to you from the start.. =) i guess its fated this way? thanks for all the advice..

decissions have to be made..

first things first i have already fucked up my life this semester.. and i really have to start bucking up.. first few things i have to decide;
1) should i change course
2) getting a transport
3) whether or not to go back this summer
4) what do i really want out of taiwan

whats going on recently?
as usual doing nothing at home day dream and just thinking of unnecessary stuff. it has to come to an end already. i have came back to taiwan since February 21st and today is already 4th of may. what have i done? N-O-T-H-I-N-G besides wasting money.

it has almost been 21 years i am in this world but what have i done so far? what have i contributed to my family? again.. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. why am i all moody recently? not really the pressure from my spouse or family. its the pressure i am giving my self. worrying would i graduate, feeling bad that i am wasting my time here while my parents are actually working so hard for my education fund. b4 coming to taiwan plans of graduating in 3 years has just bcome a dream again. hopefully this time i am serious about everything and start doing the things i want instead of being influenced by others.

about her, let everything be as- kenangan terindah (samsons)
Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun
aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah





Mood-emo,moody

找到了那個的勇氣

昨晚沒睡覺終于尋找到了很想和你說的那句話的勇氣，結果沒機會...或者機會是有的不過我不會把握..知道你來到了就要出門其實真的很失望...想到這個是值得的嗎？因爲一個字所以才堅持到現在，到現在也該看看自己是在那裏.終于有了那個勇氣願意面對一切..真的很希望在今天結束以前能辦到這一件事情...

昨天看到的那一目讓我領悟其實不管作什麽事情都好，都要有把握，凡是都不要看得太嚴重..就像那班小孩一樣，盡量抵達無憂無慮的想法活在天真活潑下... 這個也就是我看上你的一點...


beritahu kamu tentang apa yang saya fikir tentangmu,
beritahu kamu tentang sebab-sebab kamu menarikkan hati saya,
beritahu kamu tentang segala-gala yang saya tahu,
beritahu kamu tentang berapa penting kamu dalam hatiku,
beritahu kamu tentang kehidupan saya tanpamu,
beritahu kamu tentang saya cinta padamu,

beritahu saya tentang keputusan kamu,
beritahu saya kamu juga mempunyai rasa yang sama,
beritahu saya saya bukan mimpi saja,
beritahu saya kamu juga pasti,
beritahu saya kamu juga cinta sama saya.

kamu ialah segala hidup saya.


please give me a chance to prove everything to you...
If what he say was true;
1) dont have any doubt
2) give it a try
3) accept things as it is and be serious about it
4) give me the only chance i need


as i said i might be only dreaming, giving my self this chance to say out what ever i want to say, and hopefully i will live with the spirit of those kids, setting my self a target to hit but.. 99% chance it is not going to happen today, and i wont know when will be the next time i have the guts to tell you what i want to tell.. or maybe we just have no faith

a scene

went out today to a few places, not working, but having a little booze up in my mood. had been moody the past few days. there is 1 thing that i saw which made my day.

Kids- wondering can i be a kid again? saw a bunch of kids playing around the fountain having loads of fun. have nothing to worry about, in the kiddie world. 如果世界就是那麽的天真那麽的活潑那該多好，無憂無慮...back to the day of my childhood only happiness without sadness wondering if i could go back to those childhood days how good?

今天出門玩真的沒有無聊，剛剛好時間約出門也剛剛需要出門透透氣...謝謝你

出門之前的昨晚聽到了一個消息不知道是真是假，真的很想和你分享一下不過表錯情就不好了，好希望東西真的沒那麽的浮渣，就像那班小孩一樣.

disapointment 失望

once again another disappointment.. i guess people should know their own standings and be sure with their feelings. as for example me, knowing its impossible since the beginning getting disappointed again and again.. sigh where is that lucky star of mine? that one bright little star of mine was once the guidance/ light to my road. where is that light? or some one will just be so kind to enlighten me?

一次次的失望什麽時候才可以站起來？期待...
hope you will recover fast...


aduih ype, ko tipu sama saya, cakap akan update ko punya blog.. sampai bila la nak update? dah tunggu berapa hari nih..