可能

可能一切都是我的問題
可能一開始一切都是我的錯
我不知道該怎麽辦了...
我一直努力改變我自己...

要自己快樂
要自己改變，變成一個能讓別人依賴的男人
要自己有情緒管理
要自己有脾氣管理

我真的不知道該怎麽辦了...
好努力但是還是沒結果
有些事情還是便不好了...

我不知道...
可能是我自己的問題
可能是我自己不夠的努力
以前的我比較好嗎？

我.....真的不知道
可能....可能....

我就是這樣

想了很多

這幾個月，這個不是我
我不是這樣的...
好多好多的事情...
我愛你... 你真的對我很重要
我很老實得說，你和其他人不同..
我也沒有像對你的感覺一樣
和你說過
你是第一個我想挽回的女生...
我會細心的繼續這樣對你...
好希望我做得到...


好開心認識你的朋友
我的小老婆
你人真好
我不快樂的時候有你的陪伴和你的笑話讓我開心
這兩天都過得很快樂
但是心裏還是想著她...
好想念...

對不起

這次...完全是我的問題...
對...今天是平安夜...
但是我讓你自己一個人在宿舍...
這個是我的錯...
對不起...
一切都是我的錯...

我真的好疑惑...回到家...想了想... 埃...都過去了... 那一刻好想你在我身邊...
但是同一刻想到了你和我說的話... 就把自己拉回來了...
好多話... 心好痛...
想起... 好不開心...
探索自己...

好討厭...
怎麽我把這一切
怎麽我把這段感情都毀了！
我好恨我自己


some how i really hate my life...
the piece of paper i wrote...
it was everything i want to say...
it ended up in the garbage bin...
i love a girl...
which denies about a relationship...
i lost my directions...

I love you..
with all my heart...
somehow those words really did hurt me...
but most sweetness remain in my memory..

Dear...
I am so sorry... I didnt ment to hurt you...
Living you alone during Christmas eve..
ill make things up...
I promise..
My promise will mean something from now onwards...

My words may be lies during the past..
today i realize what i need to do..
2 problems.. 2 solutions..
2 matters... should be looked differently..
I will be able to make it..
Trust me for the last time..

壓力

有的沒的的壓力....
智商過後得到了一些成果，但是我心裏還是有很多的疑問...
今天得到的有生氣的感覺..真的是很生氣.....
心情是很不好所以很早就回來了不想打擾到身邊的人

感情上有了進展？我不知道，感覺越來越差
我真的很愛你
我不知道還可以說什麽

我現在好想離開一下到一個沒人認識我的地方休息一下
我快崩潰了
很難忍受
最近不好的念頭又來了我的腦袋
我好害怕
埃

有的沒的

最近發生了很多事情

我最想說的
去心理輔導的時候發現了很多事情... 原來我14-15睡那一段記憶差不多消失了... 也感覺了很不快樂的事情在13嵗那年發生了... 許多的不開心... 讓我今天的性格和態度是這樣... 感覺我現在這樣的態度，很多時候還是自我防備.... 肯能一切都是一個藉口，但是我很想探索者一樣事情...

最近的情緒也是不太好.. 爲了好多的事情不開心，好多的事情煩惱... 在電腦前的生活又回來了... 常常想在電腦前麻醉自己的不開心，麻醉自己的空虛... 很多事情很多事情真的不是如我所要的，但是這也是生命中要經過的...

今天心情還不錯，雖然發生了一件不是很開心的事情
你，在我心裏是很重要... 我是傷害了你很多... 但是最近你和我說的話，真的真的讓我好不開心...我覺得能夠忍我就會忍... 不只是你，其他的都一樣，只要不要太過分，我都可以承受... 一步步地踏上了快樂的路綫... 在我心裏，你就是我的女朋友，雖然事實上你不是... 可是我還是一樣會在慢慢的等待，去改變自己...

12月底了...
一學期又快過去了... 又是時間回家了... 我想念我的傢，但是不是很想回去... 我想把我心裏的問題先解決好... 除了這個，我也很不捨得你... 感覺我們沒見面一段時間之後，更多的問題會發生... 希望這次是個例外...

你在我身邊的時間我其實很快樂，但是同時也是很矛盾的... 有時候也不開心，但是還是很想你能在我身邊...

好久沒寫了

先說說快樂的事情...

你這10天都在我身邊，我真的還開心...

不知不覺覺得愛你更多了.

聊天，出門，什麽都好，都有你在...

感覺很好...

看到你生病了，心裏是不舒服的...

好心痛... 只能照顧你...

你好了的時候，整個就開心起來...

12月了，又快放假了...考試要來了

不開心的

你在這裡是很好

但是就是不喜歡叫你起床

常常被你罵...

不喜歡被你臉臭臭的對我...

每次叫你起床，害怕你的起床氣...

無所謂...

見到你的笑容...

我會開心了...

責任

我不知道

這樣好嗎？

我之前騗你的真的太多太多...

可能是這樣，我不會再騗你...

希望你能夠再次相信我...

很痛，叫你起來得到的是罵...

怕你報告沒寫...

怕你明天起來報告還沒弄好會對我發脾氣...

我不知道...

我

恩。我是不会说话。我是有问题表达我想说的东西。我只想解释。给我一点时间改变。我觉得我慢慢都有在改

心痛

都是我的錯...

心好痛...

你那麽痛...

我答應你的，我一定作到...

我發覺我一直在傷害你...

我...

心理真的好痛...

對不起...

我真的很愛你

冷靜

剛剛火氣來了...

只是想冷靜下來... 但是還是失敗了，說了一些難聽的話...

對不起... 我真的要把那個坏的脾氣改掉...

我說了哪些話出來我知道自己控制不了了...

所以要走快點...

往後看，你不見了...

我好擔心....

我真的很努力，要把自己不好的改掉...

我也知道那樣往前走，是不對...

對不起....

我不想在錯...

我想給你最好的

累

出門走了兩天，心情比較平靜...

想了很多事情，自己在疑惑

你到底喜歡以前的我還是現在的我...

還在想... 我自己還需要什麽改變嗎...

想想了，又是感覺自己錯了...

但是心情好多了...

還是很想你在我身邊

有時候

有時候一個人作一些事情就是看另一個人的反應...

有些事情只是不說... 不提.... 不代表自己過得好...

我知道自己埰到你的點... 但是有時候就是很疑惑...

我忍受的也不少，我也知道你忍受的也不少...

有些事情不放在臉上，不代表不在意...

所以我常常會說到想聼心裏話...

就算知道了，你對我的態度就是不時不時的改變

我常常覺得很疑惑... 不知道你在想什麽...

我傷害你的我不否認，是很多...

很多事情我想和你說我不喜歡這樣，但是很害怕得到冷淡的回應...

我好想要這段感情，我很害怕... 害怕失去...

我心酸的日子我也不可能放在臉上，我只好像你說的一樣，深呼吸...

我現在，這一秒要結束這一片網字，我也在害怕... 害怕你讀了之後會給我的反應...

我不想用網字和你溝通...

我到最後的只是要你快樂...

解釋

我有認真聼你的話...我真的有...

_____________________________________________________________________
失望...
這句話是在說你的一些動作讓我覺得很失望...

想到了一些事情...
我和你以前的事情

想到放風箏的感覺...
我的朋友一直說有的沒的，我沒有再説你...是我最好的朋友

想到了put your self in others shoes 的感覺
和風箏一樣說我的朋友沒有為我想過...

想到了發生的事情...
我和她吵架... 你在睡覺的時候她打電話給我...

想到了一些話...
她傷人的話，我很不開心...

可能是這樣吧...
可能我真的是這樣所以她那麽說我...

我其實不想辛苦....
我不想辛苦和她這樣聊天...

但是我愛的是你...
但是我愛她，因爲我和她進過很多事情...是朋友的愛

心情完全不好...
因爲和她吵架...

忍耐忍耐...

___________________________________________________________________
炮友和女友
昨晚和延期聊到，他們突然提起

是有差別...
我說有，他說沒有

女朋友是一個長久的感情...
這個是我的解釋... 我一直以來都把你儅女朋友看

炮友是黨需要的時候才來一次...
這個是因爲我一個同學，和我傢的一個人上牀了

讓我很失望，你的想法改變了那麽多...
是我的那位朋友和我說的，作的都不一樣，所以失望

我很肯定自己要的是一個愛我的女人和我愛的女人...
因爲延期問道，我知道我愛的是你郭羽珊...

我不想要一個炮友...
我就說我不想要有一個炮友因爲有人要介紹給我！
____________________________________________________________________

你沒有犯奸

我從來沒那麽想過...

我msn有迷你
歷史訊息:

2009/11/19		上午 04:44:01		[WX]		(I)郭蓋鍋蓋		對不起... 我知道你的點了... 我不因該說你和延期說那句話他會生氣
2009/11/19		上午 04:44:48		[WX]		(I)郭蓋鍋蓋		剛剛我的態度不好，對不起... 不要生氣了
2009/11/19		上午 05:01:34		[WX]		(I)郭蓋鍋蓋		明天早點去課室，我會帶早餐給你
2009/11/19		上午 05:01:40		[WX]		(I)郭蓋鍋蓋		加油！

你都沒有囘我...

我那張卡片不是馬上要和你在一起...

我會那樣問你，只是一個期望... 也想要你知道我想要的事情...

因爲很多事情我作了，我沒說，到最後你會和我說我那時候沒說過...

因爲你有說過我沒有什麽把你的動作...

那片英文的，是寫給我最好朋友看

對我承認我改變...

我沒反對過...

我最近是變了，我想要自己開新點，可能作了很多白痴的事情....

一些話，我真的覺得心裏很痛，但是最後我承受了下來...

爲什麽？對阿，我沒有這個必要...

但是因爲我真的愛你...

我網字不是在寫你...

你不要誤會...

今天7點起來我就去麥儅勞買豬肉滿足保給你... 也是想說你會原諒我昨晚說的話...

用以只是在這裡...

讓你誤會了，對不起.... 說了你不開心的話，對不起

我也沒有和他們說你多奸...我根本沒有... 我叫他們出門只是要把事情弄好而已..
我想說把事情告訴他們，之後聼聼他們說什麽我錯在哪裏... 只是這樣...

一番話

對不起

說了一些話...

我知道了...
____________________________________________________________________
失望...

想到了一些事情...

想到放風箏的感覺...

想到了put your self in others shoes 的感覺

想到了發生的事情...

想到了一些話...

可能是這樣吧...

我其實不想辛苦....

但是我愛的是你...

心情完全不好...

忍耐忍耐...
____________________________________________________________________

sometimes life really suck.. kinda fed up with a lot of things. relationship, studies, and almost everything. one word in my mind.. what the fuck.... thoughts came to my mind and really feeling frustrated... what should i do? sigh disappointments always happen... thinking do i deserve this... i really don't know do i actually deserve this... its a bad feeling... few days ago i went prawn fishing with my classmates and found out that being a kite is not nice at all.. letting go the string and pulling it back.. i know you have lots of doubt in your mind.. i have doubts in my mind too.. i really hope things can be sorted out and what i want is a real relationship.. i don't know.. recently i felt a lot of disappointing stuff. things are done and all but i don't get some decent replies. instead i am getting some bad comments. those words really hurt...

____________________________________________________________________

炮友和女友

是有差別...

女朋友是一個長久的感情...

炮友是黨需要的時候才來一次...

讓我很失望，你的想法改變了那麽多...

我很肯定自己要的是一個愛我的女人和我愛的女人...

我不想要一個炮友...

回憶

昨晚...

睡覺...

一切回憶...

我愛你...

怎麽要這樣...

其實

感覺很失望...

感覺很差...

我不知道你在想什麽

我好想知道你内心的想法...

我想知道的是心裏話...

今天一整天怪怪的...

我真的不知道怎麽辦了....

現在心裏只想希望這星期你可以陪我一天...

希望有一個你心情好的天...

其實我看到你這樣，我也不好過..

我好想和你說一句話...

希望有哪個機會

一天

過去了

但是還沒弄好

壓力很大...

我的心意

希望你會喜歡

我不知道

感覺你期待那件東西

早知道不告訴你

手好痛...

因爲愛你...

因爲好想在一起...

我願意...

好想好想..

希望明天能看到流星

說無所謂

對自己說，無所謂...

一句問候話，我得到的是這樣..

是我過度的擔心...

對自己說，無所謂...

是自己以前對不起你...

對自己說，無所謂...

因爲我很怕損失你...

對自己說，無所謂...

因爲我很愛你...

對自己說，無所謂...

深呼吸... 深呼吸....

一根煙... 又是過去了...

一切只能說自己不夠好..

無所謂...

因爲我愛你

也是因爲過去了

電影

好期待...

我和你...

從來沒有看過的電影...

好期待，起來后把電影看完...

得到的結果...

只是一句不要煩我...

心理一個問號...

一個關心...

我不想...

這種感覺...

我不想沒有電影的結局...

期待中的一切失望...

到最後一場空白...

一句話...

好心痛...

深呼吸...

期待你今晚會給我電話...

事情

很多事情發生...

這個是我要的嗎？

感覺還是不好...

昨晚我的話

真的不是你想的那個意識...

我知道我語氣的問題...

今天...

睡晚了一個小時...

8點了...

馬上很害怕..

害怕你遲到..

害怕你生氣

害怕你不會再理我..

我真的很害怕...

你的一句話

讓我開心了一天...

也希望，那句話能夠是事實...

我會改變...

我說過一句話

我要儅你能依賴的男人

那就是我的目標...

我會作到！

感覺...

空間....

我不知道...

今天的感覺...

我不知道...

昨晚的感覺...

我不知道...

我真的完全不知道....

____________________________________________________________
感覺不受尊重...

感覺不被重視...

感覺不上不下...

我也不知道...

感覺好想回去馬來西亞

但是不想回家...

一切切的想法和感覺...

好煩惱...

________________________________________________________________

我愛你，但是

一切的感覺...

我好害怕...

你的想法

我好想知道....

我不希望....

以前和現在...

我害怕...

我好沒勇氣....

我好累...

但是希望給你的時候,

你會喜歡...

情緒

我説話真的很情緒化...

說的話很靠當時的感覺...

這樣是錯的... 我會學習...

爲什麽我不會哄人？

我不知道....

但是我真的很在乎你...

我真的不會表達我自己...

就算到了現在，我還是希望有挽回的地步...

對不起...

只能說對你的感覺沒變過...

我對你很認真的...

自己不否認對你有好有不好...

和你說的話，真的沒有敷衍...

我只能和你說相信我最後一次...

我真的很愛你....

兩個女人在我生活很重要..

但是不知不覺，兩個都得罪了...

你，我真的很對不起... 希望你會給我最後一個機會

好煩

他媽的很煩

一件事情我真的不想別人知道...

結果還是每個人都知道

身邊的好朋友一個傳一個

他媽的！

連你也是...

我不認識的人你也說....

我不知道我該無奈還是該了解...

我之前那樣對你...

可能這就是我該得到的....

真的是他媽的煩

感覺很差，你問我的時候我說了我不要

你跑去問我的朋友...

這種感覺很差....

我今天好不想回家

感覺壓力很大...

感覺一點被尊重的感覺都沒有....

可能這些都是我該得到的報應...

對我愛的人這樣.... 雖然說了對不起但是這種感覺很不好...

今天我真的很失望...

承認

一切... 我承認了

好難過

我很不喜歡這種感覺

心情真的很不好....

今天見到你這個樣子，心很痛...

你的黑眼圈....

好擔心...

今天好没心情打報告

也沒心情作什麽事情

但是作業還是需要交...

今天好累....

希望一切都是好的開始

在往我的目標發展!!!

lets go!

你

昨天怎麽了

又讓你想到什麽事情？

怎麽看到你悶悶的？

這些問題，很想有個答案...

但是我尊重你... 你想說你自然會和我說...

只是一個擔心的心態...

我知道我的態度很多還需要改善...

我會努力...

心裏話

心裏話，心裏話

什麽時候才能聽到心裏話？

什麽時候我才能夠學會把我内心的話學習表達出來？

好恐怖好恐怖

一個空虛的房間...

一個空虛的心...

帶著希望...

想念原來的你

想念我認識的你

或許是我改變了？

事情真的沒有那麽嚴重嗎？

是我自己把事情想得那麽嚴重嗎？

我不知道

你和我說，我只好聼

我只能說，如果她對我是不重要，我就不會想那麽多...

告訴自己要樂觀點

今天吃了pizza 味道有點怪怪，但是感覺很接近馬來西亞的pizza

爲了你... 無時無刻都想到你...

真的好後悔記憶不好，不然我就有辦法買葯給你...

見到你那樣心理也不好過...

這個

問題...

7.25分

給了自己一個藉口

想說讓你多睡5分鐘，也讓自己多睡5分鐘

結果

是30分鐘

感覺時間不是很對的時候

起床晚了

對不起

你信任了我

我每次讓你失望

昨晚

很多決定錯了

我自己沒把你安頓好

我的問題

又再次讓你失望

對不起

酒喝多了... 精神不好，儅你問到的時候，因該馬上把你載回去

我們

唱歌唱歌

今晚夜唱....

好累好累

幾首歌，讓我覺得很不開心

歌中讓我覺得我的感情

歌中讓我想起你

你的臉

你的笑容

你的話

你對我的好

你我的優點

你我的缺點

你我的過錯

你我的無奈

我們的開心事

我們的傷心事

我們的一切

回到家

開門見到你

覺得快樂

心理想你是怎麽過了一個晚上

感覺很不好，讓你一個人孤獨的過

在一個不屬於你自己的地方

見到你睡覺...

很不忍心

時間快到了

心裏想

下一次是什麽時候...

一首歌，陪伴了我

勇氣.....

愛真的需要勇氣

做錯的事情自己知道錯了

會努力去改變

證明了，就不會在讓你失望

真的愛你

我真的很愛你

對不起給不到你安全感...

對不起帶給你那麽多的不快樂

我要你知道，我會改過....

我還是要你回到我身邊

要你原諒我

問到

我不想回答的話

我不想面對自己的事情

好希望你沒有問過我那句話...

哪個答案我自己也不知道

感覺是有，有時后感覺沒有

我不知道

你因該知道她在我心裏的地位...

我要什麽不代表她要什麽

你和我說分手是兩個人要同意

但是她不是那麽想

我也無所謂

我只好作好自己的本分

希望能夠作得更好

見到

今天去了台中...

見到了好朋友kian tat

好開心....

雖然只是2個月沒見面，但是還是很多話聊

今天心情特別好...

我們有了一個target

2個星期后gogo 台中！！

找到地方了....

今天身體好多了...

埃報告還沒打，又要在他們傢過夜

明天一定要起來去上課...

好想世界不需要想那麽多

我想平平過一輩子...

哈哈

謝謝你的肉骨茶...

期中考后是時候煮飯吃了

突然想到，好的和不好的

你以前問過我，我對你有什麽好... 但是我回答不出.... 我也不知道有沒有讓你感動

1) 常常拿水給你喝
每次你來到我傢或出門，我很害怕你不喝水，因爲你說過，如果喝的水少你的皮膚會不好

2) 幫你吹頭髮
雖然你有時候會自己吹，但是我覺得這樣是對你好，你是第一個女生我幫你吹頭髮... 儅在幫你弄的過程，你還可以玩你的facebook不然擦葯...

3) 幫你洗衣服
很多次你說你拿回去洗就好，但是我都會幫你洗，是因爲我不想你的皮膚惡化，和我覺得這件事情我作得到... 我那時候第一次幫你洗，看到你的眼神，我其實很開心.... 雖然被其他人知道了這件事情，我一點都不覺得羞恥，但是他們都一直在說我是笨蛋...無所謂...

4) 睡覺時，儅你失去安全感的時候我都會抱著你。
你睡覺的時候常常說夢話，有時候我們都個睡個的，半夜起來會抱著你，想能夠給你一個安全感... 希望你會睡得好一點... 但是無意中，是我的態度讓你失去安全感...

5) 你說一，我大體上是不會說二，除非我真的沒辦法了
這件你可能覺得不對，你常常有和我說你要去這裡，你要去那裏... 我都會很盡力配合，不是因爲我沒有意見，而是我怕我的意見你不是很喜歡，所以大體上決定都是在你手上...例子是和mandy她們烤肉那天...雖然我可以選擇煮菜，但是因爲你說想烤肉，我就換了烤肉... 你可能覺得沒必要，但是我作了

6) 不在你身邊時的問候
我不在你身邊時，常常都在問候你... 是因爲我沒辦法幫你作到什麽.... 我只能擔心，關心... 有時候我不是真的不在你身邊...而是我真的沒辦法...例如...暑假的時候發生的那件事情... 那時候我家裏發生了一些很嚴重的事情所以我才必須要回去馬來西亞... 那件事情發生了，我是很想馬上回到臺灣，你的身邊，但是我沒辦法... 你可能會覺得我現在說這個太晚了，或者是在騗你的...

突然看到這個 http://k.pclady.com.cn/question/1382496.html 感覺我大體上都有作到...



在愛你的時候，也是傷害了你

1)洗澡沒水了，因爲自己心裏的問題所以沒有幫你要水，對不起
解決方式：如果在有這種事情發生，無論如何我都一定幫你找到水。

2)處理方式的態度
我知道你最需要我在你身邊的時候我不在，讓你感覺很沒有安全感...
解決方式 : 都會把你放在我心裏的第一位，什麽事情發生都好，我會在你身邊除非真的離不開的事。

3)尊重
我錯了，沒有好好的去思考你的話
我不是沒有思考，而是沒有好好的去思考，100裏面，我給我自己50分...這是我的錯
解決方式 ：以後不管說什麽話都好，我都會想過在說，尤其是你和我的事情...

4)體貼
我錯了... 很多比較仔細的東西我都沒有注意到...
讓你失去安全感... 讓你覺得很失望... 對不起
解決方式 : 和你在一起的時間要比較注意你的一舉一動...

5)騗話
對，我騗過你.... 不管是不是因爲保護你，事實上我就是騗了你...
雖然知道你不喜歡被騗，但是我還是作了這件事情... 也是讓你對我失去信心，和安全感
解決方式 : 不會在騗你

冷冷的晚上

今天，身體怪怪的，一直想吐...

心情也怪怪的，心裏特別的悶...

一些想法來到我腦中

4人行.... 一定回到以前的地步...

我不想... 我不要墮落....

但是我更不想沒機會和你出門

更想有機會和你單獨出門...

覺得很煩惱

你不喜歡負面的我，所以我決定了從今天開始，我都會寫一件讓我開心的事情

今天讓我開心的事是kian tat終于聯絡我了...

明天可能會去找他...

很好奇，爲什麽一個很厲害説話，很厲害作表面動作的人可以討女生的歡心

而一個，不會説話，什麽事情都從心裏出來的，那麽難討女生開心？

我覺得能夠騗得安心的人很強...

我心裏很不平衡...

i don't want to be ignored...

i want to be more than a friend

i don't know why...

all i know is nothing's gonna change my love for you

though a lot of disappointments

i still love you...

不想不想....

一個人走在路中

想了想...

我真的是個大笨蛋

無心傷害

很多事情發生了

我的無心傷害了你

真的是很愛你

無心中傷害了你

對不起

我知道我的問題在那裏了

你原諒我好嗎？

什麽話都好，什麽解釋都好，重點是我的確傷害了你

我很對不起，請你相信我...

希望你能回到我身邊








這首歌送給你



無心傷害作詞：小蟲　作曲：小蟲　編曲：Christopher Troy　演唱：杜德偉

真心無奈　多心都為了愛　我坐在這　傻傻的發呆
我仍依賴　你純純的愛

我心還在　愛你的人還在　苦苦等　想哭　哭不出來
無心傷害　你應該明白

愛太多空隙　受傷容易　互信互愛才是唯一
對你的付出　都放在心裡　我始終這樣珍惜　我怎麼會忘記

Feel So Sorry, Baby I'm So Sorry
I Never Meant, I Never Meant To Hurt You
無心傷害　你應該明白

Feel So Lonely, Baby I'm So Lonely
Do You Know, I Need You To Come Back
Are You Alright 請快點回來 (I Miss You Tonight)

真心仍在　與你永不分開　這一生　只願和你相愛
與你同在　只為你等待

愛是純真　愛是無恨　不在乎怎麼會痛苦萬分
我真的太笨　不懂心疼　Baby Please Come Back　Oh Ya

simple

why life cant be simple?

if everything is as easy as 123 or abc how nice things will be?

why do human want to make things complicated?

what ever is in the surface just let the surface lead you.

as for me, my meaning of words are as what i say and nothing more than that.

i hate guessing games, i hate meaning between lines.

why?

not because i hate to think or being lazy to think

its just a simple life that i want to lead.

perfect things never come

as the saying goes, learning to be bad only takes 1 minute, learning to be good may take 1 century

well i agree with that. i did my part of home work, no doubt... maybe just didn't work hard enough for it

love is simple, love a person as whom he is, not because who he is not.

i cant agree more every single person hopes to have a perfect partner.

everything is in the chemistry.

i want a simple life....

the reason i love you it's just simply because the you that i know is simple.

every minute every second... time passes...

i really know where my mistakes are, if you want me to be perfect, i can't

feeling sad because of those words, all i could say is maybe you are not attracted to what i do..

the reason of us being together is because of the 6 words? or because you fell in love with me?

well... i don't know... is it that important?

to me it is...

i was wondering how a dog or a fish could live in the fish tank or the cage without going out?

sigh....

i want a simple life... i want a simple you...

all i can really really say is i really do love you a lot. maybe you don't know... maybe you deny it.

or maybe i just never do enough....

pieces of heart can be stitched back together, there is always more chance if there is love...

15 minutes of talk, but i never get my self expressed.

maybe i am greedy

maybe i am self centered

maybe i am not at all caring

but i am sure i am very serious about you

because I Love You

承諾

這個是我最後對你的一個承諾...

我覺得已經不能用什麽事情來和你擔保了，

因爲現在‘用心’最重要。

雖然很多次都讓你失望，

這次我會給110分來對待這些事情，

因爲我在乎你的感受，也不是在乎而已，而是非常的在意。

這幾天，都在自我反省...

這次的分別是，

我真的自我反省，以前都是你先把問題告訴我

我沒有敷衍你，也不可能敷衍你，可是我會努力的，

做好100分給所有的事情

請相信我！ 我真的知錯想改變。

為你而改變，不是！是為自己而改變

這樣才可以照顧你， 給你足夠安全感

安全感是要時間，讓我們用時間來證明!

這幾天睡不好，吃不好,滿腦子都是你的背影。

雖然是對自己身體不好，有嘗試過去睡...但是自然就會想到我們的問題。

很想你也很愛你！

快了快了

今天....3個月了.....

事情發生后的3個月....

心情特別的低

我不知道，我不知道...

那段日子.... 你說的話...

想到覺得心酸....

覺得很心痛....

埃....

很多事情，是你我自己想出來的....

很多事情，沒有好好的溝通...

麥儅勞.... 第二次.... 電話還是沒接....

我想解脫，我想把問題解決....

這樣，很痛苦

心理有一個疑問....

好想好想知道....

一個很重要很重要的問題....

很希望，有一天你能給我一個答案

心情

時間....

慢慢走開...

無奈

慢慢離開...

我不知道，我不知道

感覺好煩惱

只能說等待

這兩天

有開心的事情，也有不開心的

開心的
感覺朋友很重要，還好我有了幾個不錯好的朋友
但是，我還是很想念馬來西亞的他們
kian tat 來臺灣了!!!! 但是不知道有沒有辦法聯絡上
這兩天都過的不錯...

不開心的
和你還是沒辦法聯絡，很想念你... 去到麥儅勞前面打了電話給你想說看看你會不會接...今天是星期六，你因該一個人在宿舍吧？吃飽了嗎？又吃泡緬或餅乾了？有沒有喝水？
沒有你的生活真的好無趣...
好想見到你和你聊天...但是每次想到，就想說你因該不會離我...

== 埃....sigh

我很不喜歡很不喜歡...
好痛苦好痛苦...
不知道要幹嗎的...
好想你...真的好想念你...

Bitch

the moment i found out what you said about me and her.. FUCK YOU....
if your fucking boyfriend don't care why the fuck do you care?
the car belongs to me and him.. so can you just fuck off?
fucking BITCH.... don't ever let me know you screw my things up.. or i am seriously gonna get something done...
if you are not my good friend's gf.. i will simply kick your ass out of this place... i so dam hate you...
fucking frustrated with you... bitch!!!

一切

我不知道....我不知道...
我只知道我錯了....
不管什麽條件都好，我都會接受...

醫院一日游，如果不是沒錢，我一定會流院
好不舒服好不舒服

靜下來
自然想到你
不知道是個痛苦還是是個快樂
我很想見你
很想和你聊天
很想以前的生活

現在找不到生活中的意義
好不開心...
又發作了...
我不要我不要...

好痛苦....
心好痛好痛...
兩個原因
1)自己造出來的後果
2)傷害了你

空虛

沒有你的日子...

日子就是那麽的空虛

不管什麽事情都好，都會想起你

4天睡不着.... 好想念你... 好想和你聊天，但是沒那個勇氣走上前，很害怕你還在很生氣

每天的日子，就是一個人過...

好不開心，想起你，就想找你

想到你，就覺得很不開心因爲自己覺得對不起你

空虛空虛的心情，好無聊...

不想到達不認識的地步....

只能說求求你

不想

不想離那麽遠.... 很靠近了爲什麽又要遠離
有些話說出去，真的好希望能收回來...
無意的事情會常常發生....
只需要最後一次機會....
一張卡片...表達了我心裏話....
還有很多很多...
只能說你是我的一切...
我不想這樣就結束了...
錯的很嚴重... 只求個原諒....
我真的不想沒有你的日子...
對不起
給了出去的東西，我不會收回...
我也希望你有看過那個卡片...

見到你

見到你

很多念頭都出來

埃..... 好不快樂....

見到朋友，帶著嘻嘻哈哈的臉，但是心裏面是傷心的...這樣很沒意識....

心理的無奈，不開心...

心理的後悔，和過錯...

埃....

好不舒服....

我....

身體，心裏都不舒服...

sleepless night once again has conquer me... lets put it this way.. i am fucking tired.. but i just cant sleep... maybe its just thoughts that are spinning in my head that is giving me all that problem... why cant i stop thinking about it for 1 night and get a good night rest? sigh....

baby,
why things are so difficult
owh yes
i know, because i really want you to be with me
and most of them is my fault

baby,
why are you so angry
owh yes
i know, because instead of gaining your attention
i am hurting you.

baby,
i am so sorry
sorry about all the things i have done
please forgive me

baby,
i love you
missing you day and night
feeling lost because you are not on my side

睡不着

好想把事情解決...可以好好聊嗎？

一次.... 只需要一次

不知道爲什麽.... 突然覺得很對不起...

感覺我錯了很多很多....

可能

一切可能是垃圾...可能是廢話...

但是，想了很多...我得到的也很多...

往後想，其實我作的很多小動作因該會讓你很討厭我...

爲什麽？

我想了想...怎麽以前的，都不會發生這種事情但是在你身上會？

我得到的答案是我真的覺得你是哪個女生了...除了這個，我真的很想無時無刻你在我身邊...

可能我一些動作會讓你覺得我作的事情或說的話，都是垃圾。但是事實上，我真的是這些都是事實...

和你聊天的話題，完全都是當時的感覺....

我問心無愧的說，分手后到今天，我的改變很大... 覺得自己越來越會忍耐，這個也該謝謝你...

很多事情都在改變... 但是我唯一不想改變的事情就是，我和你的感情...希望你會原諒我

frustrated

i am afraid. afraid that you wont talk to me anymore. afraid that everything will just end this way. i am so so so sorry. what can i say? explanation? everything i can say i have already said.... i don't want to lose you.. i don't want to...

i have 2 sleepless nights... almost awake for 60 hours... i am so so darn tired.. but i just cant stop my self thinking of you.... i am really sorry...

i am already fucking frustrated.. can you people stop bugging me with other problems? i am really really tired.. and i really really need a good night rest.. don't give me extra problems....

i saw your status.. i don't know what it is regarding.. but.. if its about me.. then i am quite sure that those words should be implemented to her.... sigh...

forgive me will you... i beg you...

心情

我知道

只能說，對不起

好想念你...

我不知道，如何的去和你說好聽的話

我不知道，但是我很想把事情弄好...

我在乎

你的一切

相信我，我真的是無意的...

見到你不開心，我心裏也是不好過的

對不起...對不起...

我不知道要怎樣去表達我的心情，我只是很不開心，很不快樂...

不要不理我... 求求你....

對不起...

我願意誠實告訴你是因爲你是你，也很希望你會原諒我...

我...真的很對不起

睡眠

2天了...到底怎麽了...好擔心...

恩知道錯了很多事情...

對不起....

動作，説話... 對不起

我是很在乎別人怎麽看你... 因爲你在我心裏的地位是很高的...

我知道我一錯再錯...

在他們眼中，你是我的女朋友...

這個是事實...在我眼中...你是一個對我來説很重要的人...

對不起

別人一直問你那個問題，給你的壓力因該是很大...

他們都有問過我，我和他們說的不夠詳細，有時候覺得很煩，就敷衍了他們

這件事情想不到還是有人跑去問你...

對不起...是我自己沒有把事情和她們說清楚...

今天

怎麽一天都沒消息？是怎麽了... msn 都沒上綫很擔心...

你今天還好嗎？

怎麽電話都不接？

今天在msn上面遇到了一個好朋友，好就沒有和他聊天

聊了聊，感覺很多事情便了

我的想法，我的看法...

最近心情很不好，在加上昨天發生的事情...

讓我想到了

因爲兩個人的一句話，我就相信了她們...

我的作法很多都改變，感覺以前我們聊天的方式都是不同的

....我不知道你現在在作什麽之類的，不過我真的很擔心你，又聯絡不到你...

你是不是在避開我？ 對不起... 我真的知道錯了... 對不起

心理現在在想你吃飽了嗎？

埃，我很想和你聊天

對不起

原諒我好不好，不要不理我...

真的知道錯了，也在擔心你

我會等待你原諒我...

對不起

對不起

一句話，不應該說，就算什麽條件都好...可能太遲了

那個條件是很久換回來的...真的對不起...

我真的知道自己錯了...

一句話，心裏的傷害

你是這樣，我也是這樣....

一句話，我會傷害你，你也會傷害我...

一句對不起，嗯..... 我可以原諒你因爲我很愛你...

我一句話，一個動作，傷害了你，我也一樣....

我很對不起...

好痛苦....我好想黨別人問到我的時候，我能說....嗯你是我的女朋友....

埃, 生氣的時候已近達到那種沒感覺的境界，不開心的時候，表面看起來很開心

哈哈，改變好大... 快3個月了....

學長的一句話，不應該對女人那麽好... 就想到你和我說的那句話

條件，體貼.... 我很爛....

期待所有的一切....在你身邊守護著，慢慢等待

到底怎麽了....一句不要問.... 我說了什麽話，作了什麽事情得罪你了？

好好的怎麽這樣...

資格

恩，我沒有資格

恩，我沒有條件

恩，我不會照顧別人

恩，我不體貼

恩，我什麽都不會

一個笨蛋在房間裏，在擔心一個人的身體，心裏... 真的很擔心又如何？ 好心問候又如何？

感覺

很不好

態度

很不好

因該？

我沒有欠你

無所謂

到最後，還是自己忍耐這口氣....

爲什麽？

因爲我太愛你

我得到的？

什麽都沒有，只是一些傷人的話

有時候有點快樂

但是，現在得到的是不快樂，擔心，無奈

不知道

不知道不知道

我該怎麽辦...

一切一切.... 我不想你的狀態上打的意識是我想象中的意識...

今天的一舉一動，感覺好像是...希望不是

我...很想很想你在我身邊... 我很想念你...

不知道爲什麽，最近很想你都在我身邊陪我...

好不開心...埃

埃埃

說出去的話... 可以收回嗎？

不喜歡這樣...

埃....

好想好想但是不可以

怎麽會這樣？

我不想變成第二個他

感覺差不多...

愛一個人是這樣嗎？

我不知道，真的不知道，好煩....

好想好想有以前和你聊天的感覺...

真的真的不想這樣下去...

sigh... fed up.. i miss home... i miss my bed.. i miss everything... i am starting to hate my life here.... i don't know.. i am lost... i am really really lost... why is it things are like that? some one enlighten me please

生病了

認識你們這群朋友真的很好，謝謝你們.... 心情最不好的時候可以陪我...

你身體不舒服，我好想你能留在我身邊，能讓我照顧你...

我希望你身體健康.....也希望我身體健康

謝謝你們機位朋友的陪伴...心情這樣就好多了=)

開心和快樂

要自己開心

要自己快樂

每天的生活還不錯

最近很多事情都改變了

我不喜歡這種感覺...

不開心的理由是不是一個藉口？

看著你，你說的話，你的態度...

想了想，想了很久，你那句話，是你的要求太高，還是其實我自己很爛....

我不知道，好無奈...

你的話，有時候真的很痛，我不知道該怎麽說....

他們說，你以前態度不是這樣，是我把你寵壞.... 我不知道...

事實上，我很愛你...事實上，我很怕失去你....

我真的需要勇氣... 需要信心...

怎麽我感情上那麽的失敗？ 到底是哪一個？ 在你眼裏我真的沒有條件了？

想找人聊天

一起

見到你

讓我想到開心的事情

同樣有不開心的

有時候心情會不好

大體上還ok

上班很累，很心寒

好想

你是我的女友

你不用那麽累

不會那麽兇

好累，晚安

一天比一天

我怎麽了？

怎麽心理都悶悶的？

爲什麽感覺很不開心？

很不喜歡心裏面的這種感覺...

好想你是我的女朋友...

你有工作了，替你開心，但是見到你的工作覺得心痛... 你的手，你的皮膚...

心真的好痛...

愛你愛你

想有一個很大的擁抱，一句真心話...

好想去看夜景...

累了

聊了一下，心情好了些...

回到，看到你的表情，感覺怎麽變化那麽大...

短短的一個時間，好好奇你想了什麽... 怎麽變化會那麽的大...

是我想多了嗎？

今天心真的很痛...

埃...冷冷的感覺

不知道...

該不該發脾氣

自己的感覺

開心嗎？

做錯了什麽

爲什麽你這樣對我

這些感覺...好痛好痛...

冷冷的感覺... 好痛苦....

心好痛好痛，誰能理解.....好想能像以前那樣，我不開心直接和你說你會給我一些意見... 現在得到的答案...讓心裏很痠.... 臉上毫無表情，只能哭在心裏

想法

每個人關心的點都不同... 你昨天說的那些話，我其實真的很不開心...我在想我真的沒有關心過你嗎？... 可能我作的不夠好... 雖然點不一樣，但是我會努力到達你的點...

這兩天的不體貼...我會改...我會達到你的點... 對不起

幹嗎

不知道自己在干嘛... 怎麽最近説話都很亂來... 還是説話小心點好..這樣容易傷害心愛的人...對不起

哦...漂亮的天空

黑黑的天空...漂亮的星星...

好想去看夜景...

有你的陪伴，好開心

聊了好幾天... 感覺不錯... 感覺更了解你...

你的眼神...和以前一樣... 感覺你得不到安全感

睡覺，聽到的話... 感覺自己真的對你很不好....

對不起

不喜歡

我不喜歡不肯定的感情...

這樣，是又不是... 很難受

這些話可能再次讓你壓力很大...

我真的很愛你...

從新再來好嗎？

我真的有在改變... 相信我...

家家有本難念的經，我知道...但是你太過分了... 你喜歡，不代表我喜歡....

一個人

好懷念，找人都能找得到... 不開心，一個電話就有人陪我聊聊...

看到別人一對一對... 我一個人...想起你...

當中有開心和不開心

埃....

好希望...

中秋之夜...

埃...

好不開心

就這樣

好累，好無奈... 怎麽沒人能體諒我... 我真的很不開心... 有些話，不說出去，只是不想邀功...以前常識過... 所以不說... 我得到的只是一句，這個是我的問題嗎？

外人給的意見，如果沒有聽到兩個人說的話...這樣對嗎？

我知道我今天說什麽都好...都沒用了...我一切的努力，今天你恨我... 我能怎樣...我不知道...愛一個人又怎樣？ 都是我的問題...

你和我說的話，這個不是你的問題，而是我的問題... 爲什麽分手后這種話常常出現？我不喜歡這種感覺...

狀態上打的，為我自己訴苦...為你訴苦...朋友們不了解就請你們不要亂説話... 這樣說有錯嗎？....

那句話... 可能是如他們所說的... 這個根本不是她的問題，是你自己的問題.. 你愛她，你就要心甘情願這樣... 她可能不為你想，但是不是她的錯... 慢慢開始認同這句話...

心好痛... 有時候覺得就是這樣,但是得到的不是這樣... 有些事情不要幻想好不好...好辛苦... 你不爽的事情過了2-3天再説...那天還能好好出門.. 這種感覺也真的很不好...

開始交往前，一直到現在，同樣的問題在發生...溝通是個很大的問題...一直到現在... 你....我... 都有不開心....慢慢很同意... things that you avoid will come up in your face in the end...

就這樣...

怎麽了

今天不是好好的？怎麽突然這樣？ 約一個人出門，是因爲把她介紹給別人認識... 沒有什麽特別意識... 你到底怎麽了，說說好嗎？這樣很擔心

好痛好痛

事情發生后，一個解釋都沒有，只說了對不起... 心理真的好痛....

如果，感受

埃... 真的是這樣嗎？

可能...

我掉眼鏡了...

這種感覺...

好難受...

怎麽都是這樣？

我的感受... 感覺沒人肯聼... 沒人肯了解...

好不開心...

一句話...一個動作...

一個字...一個結果

一個感覺...一個人...

我...崩潰了

埃埃

今天好不開心... 看到，想到... 埃... 因該是時候了... 29天都過了... 今天想了想.. 好無奈... 想說愛你又怎樣... 對你好又怎樣... 到最後也是這樣... 開始是這樣，現在也是這樣... 我對愛情真的完全沒信心了.. 今天吃飯都想了很多，感覺很奇怪...

回到3-4個月前的原點... 埃.... 到最後還是一個空...

心好痛好痛... 誰會離我？ 每天看到我們的回憶... 埃... 淚水來了...

愛情真的是這樣嗎？

一些事情如果完全沒感覺，能作的出嗎？

喜歡不時說現在有感覺，等等就沒感覺...這樣很奇怪...

事情

看了你的網字，感覺我們開始到現在開心的，也有不開心的... 淚水還是一滴滴的下來了... 我真的好愛你，但是不知不覺地還是在中給你帶來不開心... 我真的真的好想逗留在那個臺北車站聊天的時候... 雖然感覺不是很好但是問題是解決了... 好不開心... 這幾天感覺很奇怪，怎麽一直在吵架？ 事情真的不是這樣嗎？那是怎麽樣？我真的本來以爲我明白了，怎麽聊到的時候事情不是這樣？

這次你又選擇放棄了？我再次給你很大的壓力？我... 好想好想和你聊... 好想好想把我們之間隔著的那幅牆壁打破... 心好痛好痛... 很想努力的去把所有事情修補好... 怎麽感覺事情都一而在再而三在我手上灰了？對不起...

淚滴完了也沒用...我想解決問題...我不想逃避... 我真的真的不想這樣... 我愛你

my heart has became pieces...
tear drops are filled with blood...
drips and drops of tiers cant just explain my feelings...
i am really really sad.. i really really want you back by my side...
babe.. please tell me you love me too...
i want my love to have a confirmation..
i miss the time we had..
I Love You...

這樣不好

我真的不好好的對待你，帶給你那麽多的煩惱.. 帶給你那麽多的不開心... 我很想你會快樂... 我很想你會開心... 那個開心的笑容我很久沒有看到了... 我想念... 怎麽我們最近都常常意見不合吵架？ 我真的對你不好... 我真的不是個好人... 不會照顧你... 沒有帶給你快樂... 對不起

你...

很自然，很多事情都會想到你... 什麽事情都好我都會想到要和你一起去作... 吃飯，玩，讀書... 聊天... 但是突然想到我們的關係... 我就很不開心了.... 我真的真的不知道要怎樣了... 我只好默默的看看怎樣照顧你... 怎樣的讓你開心... 但是我覺得我很多時候都帶給你不開心... 我們的回憶... 我每天都在看，每天都在想... 埃.... 我好想你

不好的感覺

今天出門善心，一件件的事情就好像我旁邊的東西這樣就飃走了... 感情也是如此... 路上很危險，雖然受了點傷，但是因爲堅強，還是抵達了目的地... 事情后，就慢慢去找回頭的過錯，知道哪裏危險就小心點，騎車的技術也就會比較好... 感情方面， 有些事情往後看，改變過後，就會安全.. 一條長長的路都會有凹凸不平，有人和你一起走，渡過難關，一切就會比較順利... 路程中，有開心的，也有不開心的... 但是如果真的有興趣/感覺爲什麽不再去試一次？

真的好累了... 我真的真的很累... 但是我不能放手... 我不能忘記你... 26天了... 我會爲此下去... 我會去好好的愛你... 可能最近的錯誤還是很多... 我會改變... 錯過了一次次的機會不能讓你依靠... 一次次的相信，但是你得到的是失望... 對不起...

今天很不開心因爲見到了你的不開心... 心好痛... 好想陪在你身邊希望能夠帶給你快樂

背叛

背叛了你的信任...對不起.... 我真的不能夠讓你依賴... 我真的差很遠... 希望我會改變... 能夠讓你依賴

埃

感覺我真的做了很多錯事，一次次的錯過了很多事情，一次次的讓你覺得我不適合你... 那件事情我錯了...反映太大... 可能不能給你一個安全感，對不起... 埃...

說聲我愛你

這句話...好想好想你會聼... 感覺存在，那就在次的讓一切慢慢增加，你說的很多話，讓我反省... 我心裏只有很多對不起...傷害了你...

努力

埃... 可能真的是傷害了你很嚴重，希望時間能讓你再次的相信我... 我會好好的對待你...好好的保護你，好好的照顧你，去愛你....

動作，心痛

我覺得好不開心... 好無奈...我很怕很怕事情真的成了定局...
在努力再努力... 用功改我的坏習慣... 脾氣方面還是有點改不到...
見到你的黑眼圈...好心痛... 見到你那麽累...好心痛...聽到你沒吃飯...好心痛
埃.... 好怕好怕...心好痛....

時間...

可能一切真的需要時間才能改變... 希望就是這個時間能讓一切挽回... 昨天和一個人小聊了一下， 感覺很多事情是可以改變的...

擔心你辛苦，怕你壓力大... 好擔心... 好希望能幫得上忙... 好希望能帶給你快樂

埃，見到你

好想好想抱著你... 把所有不合的事情談到合... 可能你害怕我傷害你，可能你對我沒信心... 相信我最後一次... 我真的會改過... 你需要比較貼心的男友... 我會改變... 我要給你最好的，我要疼你... 我想你能再次是我的女友...

真的沒感覺了嗎？還是你真的怕我再次傷害你... 我知道那時候傷害了你...我知道錯了... 你給我的感覺還是有的... 好想給你一個擁抱，之後不要在把你放開... 如果沒感覺，很多事情你根本不會去生氣，也不會在意...

我真的很愛你... 我知道我們的感覺和感情還春在... 給我最後一個機會...

不開心

今天還是不開心，不知道爲什麽心理還是那麽覺得... 聽到你的話，埃... 心理很不舒服... 今天有衝動..但是還是希望自己能忍下來... 好希望

臺灣生活

回來了第三天，該說的話都說了... 雖然心裏還是很不好受但是我不能再説什麽... 讓時間證明一切吧... 這幾天心情都不是很開心... 但是見到你就好了些些... 看到你的笑容，我就開心了... 今天第一天上課就翹課了...和自己說了，這學期不能在翹課，我要all pass 一定要努力得到4年以内畢業...

好想念馬來西亞的食物... 中秋節我們要烤肉，好希望你會答應我... 也希望建林沒事... 今天見到他那樣，就想到我們分手的那天... 好想好想...

今天14日

14天這樣就過去了...回來馬來西亞1個月15天了... 這段時間，很後悔很後悔的回來了... 這兩天很無奈，好想念，好期待... 好希望我有個機會... 相信我... 不會讓你失望... 明天就回去了... 今天心情特別緊張，特別不開心...

不開心

埃，這幾天心情都在不好，不知道爲什麽... 還有兩天就要回去了... 但是感覺不好，很不開心.. 可能是太想見到你，想馬上就可以見到吧？你明天就回到嘉義了...東西收拾到怎樣了？都有拿完嗎？你的皮膚的東西是最重要的，手機的充電器，相繼？ 水罐？ 要穿的衣服？ 暑假多幾天就過了，要上課了，突然覺得壓力很大...

現在最想要的是見到你...

最後的聚會

今天好累好累... 喝茶，喝酒... 好多好多的人... 今天聊囘我和他們一起作的事情，感覺在這3年來，我們都改變了很多... 這班朋友... 做工的作工了，我還在南華讀2年級...希望能夠如期畢業... 和他們聊了，感覺我還有很多事情需要去改變
1）arrogant
2) patience
3) focus

今天也見到了很多不同的人，但是心裏還是不開心... 感覺自己好沒信心...好不開心
還有4天就回去了...

care.. responsibilities

why would i care? its just because of responsibilities.. what i have done.. i am trying to be responsible.. i am not some random guy.. who just gets in your life and get out.. i don't like things to be this way.. if i am not responsible.. i wont care so much.. i wont get a hard time thinking through everything... i made changes in my life.. and i really hope you do think about the mistakes you made also.. and do some changes in your life. if its not for the relationship we had.. then just for the friendship we are having now...

i am actually amazed how much mistakes i made in the past.. and i really really have to control my temper.. and as for you.. i hope you learn something.. instead of blaming me.. i think its time for you to learn what are your mistakes... in the end.. you are the one who will benefit from all these..

今天，不什麽開心... 好無聊好無聊... 氣死我了，我去找那瓶葯，他竟然賣假貨給我！ 埃....

想法想法...

今天看了歷史訊息... 覺得我們很大很大的問題是溝通... 你無奈的時候... 我無奈的時候.... 發現很多話説出來都很傷害你... 雖然現在我們不再一起了，但是我想很了解自己錯在哪裏好讓我以後可以對你好點...

改過也需要看到成果，我明白... 我只能希望有機會證明一切給你... 相信我，我一定改過，而不是五分鐘的熱度... 為自己好，為你好... 對不起，今天找了整個吉隆坡的葯侷，但是找不到...謝謝你們兩個陪我...

你最近有喝足夠的水嗎？有插儒醫嗎？

很多事情其實溝通上可以解決了... 埃，好想回到1個月前離開臺灣的那一天...

不快樂

今天家裏發生大吵鬧... 好不開心...

這樣我就跑了出門一直到剛剛... 謝謝兩位陪我了一天.... 中學的要朋友哈哈，好想念你們... 希望星期日可以和你們吃頓飯，我就要回去臺灣了...

生病的人本來是因該在家裏休息的，但是我出門了一整天.... 現在很不舒服....

昨晚看了你的網字... 我想了想... 你說的也是對，但是有些事情是不同的...

心好痛

我知道我錯了，但是爲什麽連一個朋友的對待我都不能得到？可能是我傷害你很嚴重... 你覺得我從來沒有負責人... 我很失望.... 我對你的.. 不是完全的不負責任... 有些事情我有... 很多事情沒告訴你是不想和你邀功... 聽到這句話... 真的好失望....

我從來沒有要你給我什麽回報... 我從來沒有很嚴重的要求過你什麽...

真的很失望... 好心痛....

一句話能讓一個人改變所有，但是一句不負責任的話...也能完全傷害一個人... 我知道.... 你有那麽作過嗎？ 你有考慮過有些話我會知道的嗎？

如果不是我對自己，和對你的一個責任感... 我今天也不會這樣... 每一個人的點都不一樣，如果有好好溝通過，一切就不會是這樣...

我那時候沒有爭取... 但是我現在的勇氣，是比你說的想過後，放開的勇氣大很多... 我是厚者我的臉皮去問你，希望很多事情能改變...

你知道我最大的錯誤是什麽嗎？ 在我們的熱戀期的時候離開了臺灣...

我知道我錯了，我知道我以上的話有點傷人，對不起... 我會作我該做的事，一切就看天意了

問題

今天出門...和mandy喝茶... 埃，好不開心...其實我們的問題不大... mandy 的問題比我們大... 和她聊了之後覺得，我和她其實差不多是同一類型的人... 但是很多意見都衝突... 今天不開心是因爲好無奈的出門... 感覺很不對... 不過還好，聊聊下.. 覺得其實我的問題不大... 其實很多事情都可以解決... 埃好不開心... 自問爲什麽... 想離開的時候感覺不對，那時候就不因該離開了... 可能一切就不會是這樣了...

如果我說的話，比較早會想.... 也不會這樣了...

今天是第8天...

好希望

希望有原諒我
希望我還在你心裏有感覺
希望你能給我改過的機會
希望能給我彌補的機會
希望你能給我機會
希望能容易入眠.

好多好多的希望... 今天突然來了一首歌，劉嘉亮的愛我別傷害我... 聼了兩次，覺得真的傷害了你... 對不起.... 見到你上綫很想很想和你聊天，但是我怕我會帶給你煩惱.... 還有7天... 7天后的這一份，我在桃園國際機場... 回到臺灣了...
我答應你的事情，我希望別人不會去作，而是流給我自己去作...

我愛你...郭羽珊
好希望...好希望....

這兩天

這兩天我們聊天...感覺很有問題...爲什麽呢？什麽事情讓你不開心嗎？ 感覺你最近火氣也大了...你還好嗎？ 真的很擔心你... 也很想念你... 是不是我帶給你很多煩惱？

今天...

今天，還是一樣的傷心.. 但是今天讓我想了很多...
1) 那句話.... 我一共看了好幾百次.... 對不起... 真的傷害你很嚴重...
2) 以前在一起，我自然會告訴你的事情都沒有什麽好事情...告訴你的都是不好的事情.. 對不起
3) 責任感很重要很重要...尤其是對說過的話... 對不起，你第一次給我的機會，我很不負責任..沒有去好好的反省... 那句話... 你其實是老實的告訴我... 不過我什麽都沒想就給你了那個反應...對不起
4）衝動... 我做事情真的很衝動... 對待你，給你的答案，和你說的話... 買東西，不管什麽都好我都很衝動..
5) 對你不夠好... 嗯，因該這個也是理由，所以我才沒吸引到你...
6) 我很多的動作其實令人討厭... 一直要你給我機會的那閒事情...
這些今天的感想...好想和你說...

心情...

一天一天就這樣過... 這樣就分手了6天... 今天也過的不開心... 看了你的狀態好幾天... 想清楚之後放棄，也是一種勇敢... 我不否認... 但是想清楚之後，如果對方有改過的心，給對方那個機會，這樣的勇敢是更大的... 説不定也會有好結果...

你說了一個完全沒希望的話... 但是我還是抱著悔改的心...繼續的等待...

9月5日傷心日

還有9天我就回去臺灣了... 我等待了那一天很久了... 今天很不開心... 突然想囘以前的事情... 很想念你.. 出去了一天回到...想了很多事情，開會的時候也想起你很多的事情... 你的性格... 今天開會滿成功的... 得到了我們開會的重點.. 今天見到了好幾個很久沒見的佛青之友.. 他們都說了我改變很多...成熟了很多... 聽到了這番話，我又想起你.. 恨不得大哭一場... 心理很痠，很痛... 回到家,看起我們以前的照片.. 讓我笑了一下...到了最後一張...突然心又痛了... 心想爲什麽我和你有的回憶只有那麽少... 好心痛好心痠...

身體一天比一天的差...希望吃完這個葯后真的會好起來... 我想要一個擁抱...

今天好傷心，好想念... 自問自己爲什麽沒有好好把握機會...

感情

一段感情是很難才能在一起... 現在是這樣不代表未來是這樣.. 讓一個改過的人表現他自己...可能會得到一個更美好的感情... 在一段感情中，我學會了什麽都需要告訴你的另一半，這樣很多事情都會有分別...我的感情已經沒有了，不過今天還是說了我本來很久以前因該告訴的事情... 一段感情不應該有什麽盈滿，我知道我錯了... 外面的情侶如果讀到，把握機會哦！也知道了機會難得..好好去把握..有時候人就是這樣，直到失去了才會珍惜.. 可能我有點這樣...

好希望一切還有一次的機會去想去考慮...

我們兩個的問題因該是溝通... 我今天才那麽認爲...不過一切太晚了？

晚安

想打而打

打開了網字，想寫東西，不過不知道要些什麽.. 很想和你好好聊天..不過我不知道該不該問，因爲我已經不是你的男朋友.. 昨天你和我說的那番話，我明白了，不過我還是抱著希望... 我還是那句話.. 我會從新來過，我會努力.. 我之前說的要作你能依靠的男人.. 我會改過... 我會繼續的等待,繼續的愛你... 不是因爲我不放開，而是我真的愛上了你的所有...

之前我們還沒在一起前我常識放開，把你忘掉... 一段時間沒練咯但是得到的結果也是我還是喜歡你.. 現在是傷心，但是很冷靜知道自己要的是什麽... 也很清楚自己錯的是在那裏... 我對你的感覺不是用話能表達的..只能用行動... 我知道我傷害了你，我也知道你原諒了我... 但是我還是覺得很對不起你..

最好的朋友和我說過，距離的感情一定有很多問題... 再加上溝通的問題，感情一定出現變化.. 我們交往兩個月... 我回來馬來西亞才知道我原來很多事情都需要改變... 這幾天的思考和反省... 覺得我很過分... 如果我早點會想通，今天就不會得到這個地步...

有個人和我說過，一個人想了很久的事情未必是心理真的那麽感覺... 雖然你和我說了哪些話.. 我現在還是很想回到臺灣的時候能見到你..好好聊..

今天又過了一個很不開心的天...一早就下雨...很不想出門... 今天身體也很不舒服.. 今天吃了第3天的葯，好苦好苦... 很希望會雨過天晴...在我身上發生一些開心的事情好嗎？

























每一時候很想知道你在干嘛... 每一時候都想在你身邊... 我會等待.....

今天...

今天身體很不舒服...不過還是需要出門因爲答應了... 好辛苦..好不舒服.... 葯好苦好苦... 心也不舒服... 不知道爲什麽今天起來眼睛又痛的== 阿，我是哪一個部分是不會不舒服的呢？ 今天去喝茶，都不知道要說什麽話...可能今天根本不應該出門，呆在家裏就好了..出去也想了很多事情... 可能文字根本不可能表達...

想了些事情，心真的很痛.. 覺得很對不起...

希望一切都能從新再來... 我不會在犯同一個錯誤..第一次的機會我沒有好好珍惜，現在也好像太晚了.. 我會等待，我會去證明... 希望你會給我那個機會..

對不起對不起

我不知道怎麽苗粟我的感受... 我也不知道我能對你說什麽... 我真的真的很對不起... 爲什麽連朋友都不能作？爲什麽要這樣？ 我真的知道錯了... 讓我證明自己好不好...

after mistakes have been made some consequences must be accepted. i guess maybe i have hurt her too much.. i never improved my self for the better last time.. what she wants is me to be better... Thats the way she loves me... i really do understand now.. please forgive me... please give me a chance to prove my self to you.. i have changed...

Mistakes in life...錯誤

every one does mistakes in life.. knowing about it... all you have to do is admit the fault and be firm enough for changes. as for me.. i really screwed things up in my relationship.. The fact is i screwed it up. I hope for forgiveness, I hope for another chance. Yes, people will grow up and learn from their mistakes. so will I... I am sorry...

I am down with some illness and i have to take care of my health.. not only that, i will want another opportunity to take care of you once again. sorry i was foolish..

今天早上睡覺前想了想得到的結果是以下的錯誤...
1）對不起，我之前給你了太多的理由和藉口，對待事情的態度不好..
2）對不起...那時候答應過你不能在說氣話，不過我還是有再説...
3）對不起... 我知道我的表達能力真的很有問題... 我真的沒有哪個心去傷害你，不過我確實是做了..
4）對不起... 我會對我說的話負責任...

對不起... 這些都是我的錯，我知錯了... 我會努力的去改過... 會很小心說我每一句話... 希望你能原諒我，給我一次機會... 我真的不想失去你，也真的很愛你...

我好想好想親口和你說這些話...希望我有機會和你聊聊... 對不起...

i don't know how to describe my love to you.. losing you is something that i really don't want it to happen.. I know the mistakes i made is wrong.. and unacceptable.. i will change for the better.. trust me.. I did hurt you but in the end it hurt my self more.. That is because i really really do love you, by hurting you it will hurt my self more... i will cherish you.. i promise..

I am sorry... I love you... Will you Be at my side once more?

身體健康

今天又看了醫生..坏消息...爲什麽最近都發生那麽多不快樂的東西？
這幾天感覺自己成長了，見了兩位老友... 感覺以前的我竟然是那麽的不好...
就算是現在，有些事情還是需要改變....
爲什麽發生那麽多不快樂的東西？很多都是自己的造化...性格不好..
告訴自己會成長... 需要改變讓自己變得更好的一個人...
爲什麽我要遺傳了我家人的病？爲什麽！好不公平....爲什麽是我？
我需要放棄很多很多事情因爲我的健康...
好不開心...很想很想你能在我身邊... 不過希望一切不是太晚....

葯好苦，愛的東西不能在吃了... 爲什麽是我..爲什麽！

對不起..

我知道，我知道了，知錯了...對不起對不起...
我知道我沒有什麽理由可以讓你原諒我，我不想靠我的嘴巴來説我會怎麽對你...
我知道我錯了...我很希望有機會能夠用行動來證明給你看....
我要回到很多年前的我...一切都有信心，一切都會想到後果...
給我這個機會... 我知道我傷害了你... 對不起...
除了對不起3個子我不知道因該說什麽...

讓我回到你身邊好嗎？

想法

現在知道了，有些想法是不因該告訴別人，或者是告訴的時候因該用比較完轉的話來説...這次傷害你，對不起...我...只能和你說對不起... 有些話如果能收回那有該多好... 對不起...

可能我們彼此都不了解對方，但是給我們多點時間好嗎？現在這個距離真的很遠，還有溝通真的很有問題，一切等到囘臺灣再説好嗎？

長大.. grow up and letting go

是時候讓自己長大...是時候讓自己學習...
是時候讓自己知道很多事情...自己的想法是這樣但是別人不一定認同...
我會告訴別人讓自己開新點，所以我自己也要做到讓自己開心點...
有些時候，有些事情，是不能滿足自己，那就不要對一切的希望太大...
每個人的想法都不同，別人那麽想不代表自己的想法是對的...

life is like a brief candle..
happiness is really important.. i guess its time for me to learn..
let go... let go...
telling my self day by day ... i will grow up to be a better person...
grow up.... grow up....
till the day i meet a better 1....
disappointed... what did i do to deserve all this?

Thanks...

today had a day out.. had a nice long chat with you.. and that really made my day.. thanks alot.. some how i feel you have grown up alot.. not that little sis that i use to know xD... i need to work harder too =) good to see you becoming more matured ... those advices you gave me.. haha.. thanks alot..

you are the best female friend i have too =) really hope we will b friends forever =) sigh i am gonna miss you... 15 more days and i am going back taiwan..

will b going genting with mandy on thursday.. hope reen you will come along =)

愛情是什麽？

什麽是愛情? 什麽是交往？
我已經不知道哪种感覺...已經不知道有個女朋友的感覺...
我們這樣是比朋友多一點點的感情還是一對情侶？
昨天的失望，你和我說的給我感覺是你不在意我們這段感情...
我要的是一個穩定的感情，一個長久的感情...
我今天是在想，我在你心裏的地位到底是什麽？
我不喜歡不肯定的感覺，一時特別喜歡一時好感...
怎麽會那麽嬗變？

好不開心，好希望有人能告訴我到底愛情是因該怎樣的

不好的心情

好事是你回到了臺北...希望你是無傷害的回到...
這次你去哪了因該學了很多事情吧？為你覺得開心
我的擔心，我的關心變成了你的煩惱....你在為什麽煩呢？
今天我們聊天后我得到的感覺是你不在乎與我的感受...我也希望我對這個感覺是錯的....
我不知道要怎麽說所以用英文...
i dont know what you feel about me.. at times you really really care about my feelings.. like for the example that i just gave you, i dont feel you are committed to this relationship.... i really dont understand why you are being so cold to me recently.. i really really hope that you will care about me just a little.. that is what i am asking for ...

今天身體不舒服，再次惡化，好不舒服...好希望我很快會好起來，我不想再這樣下去受苦...
晚安

8月22號

突然為我女朋友覺得很驕傲...她去儅義工了=)
今天生活好充實，現在2點了不過才回到傢...
時間越來越靠近我回去臺灣的日子，好想好想馬上能見到你...
在這裡為你祈禱，你去哪裏沒傷的回來...
今天身體又惡化了..希望也能快點好
想能健康的回去見你...
好希望當天回到就能見到你
晚安

疑問

我在你心裏的地位是什麽？
今天才覺得真正的不開心...
今天和你的視窗玩遊戲，感覺我被抛棄了....
一切是我造出來的嗎？好孤獨，好孤單...
好想好想有一個肯定...
説不定一個剛認識的人都比我重要..

我失去了？

我要的感情....

我想要一個
穩定的感情
兩方面肯付出的感情
不自私的感情
快樂的感情
健康的感情
這些是我要的感情，但是很多原因中我覺得我們沒辦法溝通....
這段感情我們一起努力過才會有今天，但是現在我得到的感覺是這樣我不知道要怎麽告訴你...
我真的那麽煩嗎？給你帶來了很多煩惱嗎？

i always know that relationship is a 2 way thing.. sigh some how.. its a 1 way thing again now.. am so frustrated.. i am home in malaysia.. what did i do to deserve to be so unhappy back here?

生活=)

新的一天新的開始，自己要讓自己開心...
自己不讓自己開心沒有人能幫自己...
今天和你聊了很多，感覺自己不因該再讓自己不開心...謝謝你
可能從今天開始所有的事情都有新的看法，新的開始...
聽到一首歌，其實聼了很多次，有句話很對..你愛的人不是愛你的人...
今天是第一天的開始，接下來PARTY PARTY PARTY!!!!

Frustration

really really frustrated recently.. somehow i feel so lost.. no idea why.. besides feeling lost, and also feeling moody.. sigh.. whats going on with me?

been doing some thinking these few days and yea i think its some time to change for the better.. wasted 21 years of my life and i should actually start doing something about it... 1 bad thing is i don't have the health to let me push it beyond the limit..

feeling sick of everything, sigh.. and getting the love life that i didn't picture it to be this way... loosing faith in it.. just hoping that it wont be ended.. i am still hanging in there.. how but you? some how i feel that i have lost contact with your world.. please.. let me into it..

心理的疑問

一切解決了嗎？
最近感覺真的不是很好，你的想法呢？
好想好想知道你在干嘛，好想好想再次投入你的世界裏...

對不起對不起

對不起自己不夠的堅持沒做到需要做的東西...
這樣是無意中的傷害你....也是很嚴重的傷害你....
現在我能做的只是說對不起，多一個月我會回去了...
希望我有機會對你彌補，給我一次的機會完完全全去照顧你...
一時的快樂可能會造成很多的痛苦，很多的不開心...
好擔心好擔心
你的狀況，我不在你身邊...
對不起對不起
傷害你那麽嚴重...
希望你沒事我怎樣都可以，只希望你沒什麽大礙
好好照顧自己，堅持多一個月，我就回去了
彌補不再你身邊的一個月，和對你的一切切傷害...
會改變自己讓自己能變成你的依賴....
一個承諾，我會是你想見到的我....相信我

時間

我知道時間無多，但是要一個人改變不是一兩天的時間...有反省也需要一點時間...
我不覺得我自私，我真的累了我告訴你，我這樣是自私了嗎？如果反過來說你不體諒我的累？
朽木不可雕這句話也出來形容我了...
我覺得我們根本就是有溝通的問題...那也因該是我表達能力差和我理解能力低
好不開心，真的很無奈，生氣又不是，天啊好煩...


世界上最幸福的一件事情...就是..你所愛的人..正好也愛著你
這句話我認同，不過開始到現在我只有一次那麽多人爲這個可以用在我們身上..也就是我給你那個心的那天....怎麽感覺事情都在我們沒見面的時候發生比較多...

steps are taken so your life would move on.. to the better and not for the worse.. separation of a distance of 4000KM is just very very far.. its just 4 more weeks.. bare with me.. i beg you.. i really cant live with 4 more weeks of arguments..

a single thought that came into my mind.. a friend told me people take thing for granted if they come easy.. sigh.. somehow i think this is actually happening.. and i cant do anything besides working harder to pull us back together.. am really frustrated.. the more it goes the more i think that only a single party is giving in to this relationship..

time and place is the factor, my fear is loosing her.. please give me some time...

好累

很多很多的不開心
很多很多的話
好想好想我現在在臺灣
到底你心裏是怎麽想
我覺得很無奈，好不開心...

today had a bad news.. i had actually injured my self during the last motor accident.. and i need to go for some exercise and have some medication.. really really sad.. i need a healthy body.. who will care? only my self..

after being busy the whole day with a few friends from lodge.. i am eager to get home so that i have some time to accompany you.. thought that i would have a little chat with you before i go to bed despite i have to wake up 8am tomorrow. why you just cant listen to what i have to say? what you have to be so judgmental.. i am really really tired..

不知道該怎麽辦生氣？還是覺得完全都是我的錯？
我真的毫無方向，很努力的和自己說那個夢是假的，結果一天天看到的結果就是夢中的結局
好害怕..誰明白？

感覺

感覺....
我們的距離越來越遠
你覺得我們的感情不夠穩定？
我們之間是不是有了什麽問題？
我們需要好好溝通一下，很需要了解你的想法..
離開你身邊一個星期，覺得疏遠了很多

期待，等待

離開你好幾天了，好想念好想念
今天8月3日，還有一個月12天我才返回臺灣
是不是那一天能夠見到你？
好期待見到你的日子很快到..
想念你的一切，很想給你一個擁抱
和你說我們不在分開好嗎？

Blogging from the airport

Currently at the Taipei international airport.. waiting for the boarding time. its 2.42pm and my flight will be departing at 3.55pm.. boarding time 3.15pm. cant wait to go home..

really really do miss you.. moment you were standing at the boarding area and i was walking in, it was such a bad feeling.. how i feel to turn back and give you a big hug.. or just bring you along back to malaysia.

enough of the sad stuff.. so i am going home after 6 months and food food food =) missing it hard time haha... stop blogging for now.. bye

長長的雨天等待中

這幾天都在下雨，心情就好象雨中那樣。。。
時間一天天的過去了，今天到了7月25日，多5天就要回去了..
有開心，也有不開心，最終是不捨得。。
好想好想你都能在我身邊。。。 好想念你。。
開心的是可以回去了，見到朋友們，小孩們，我媽，還有一群變態的好朋友
這幾天都很無聊每天的生活就是沒意義的過，就在想念我最愛的郭大小姐。。
times has passed and i have left home for 5 months.. time to get back and enjoy the family life.. haha cant wait for it.. really miss you peeps back home... finally my bed.. 5 more days =)

the same date i am leaving home.. is the same date i am dumping you alone here after we are together for a month.. i am really sorry.. cant wait for the time to pass and i am beside you again..

Lovely Time

The time we spent this few days.. thank you alot.. really really do love you.. in just few days time i will be leaving home.. hopefully everything will be the same even when i come back.. i really really hope that i could hug you and never let you go.. every where i go you are beside me.. but thats kinda impossible..

i really miss you now.. cant wait till you come back here..

am i wrong?

i don't know what is happening.. really worried about you..

what have i done wrong?

i just ask what is really happening , what are your plans tomorrow..

all out of concern and why i deserve this?

i really do love you.. i don't want to have quarrels everyday..

we really need to communicate properly

what is the problem?

why are you so moody today?

really really worried.. really hoping for a better day for you..

hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...

can't wait to see you on monday... miss you

Beginning

everything has started.. hopefully we will be all good.. everything for the better and for the future.. 3 more weeks till i go back home.. wonder how things will be? really do love you.. missing you already.. hope to see you really really soon

奇怪的感覺

在一起了怎麽還是覺得怪怪的？這就是我要的結果不過感覺不是很對....感覺奇怪...

今天是最後一天了，好希望你在我身邊...兩個星期沒得見面不知道一切是如何...一個月后我就回去了，那時候的一切又是如何？

感覺...

這種感覺是對的嗎？好希望...你今天和我說那句是不是真的？好疑惑...怎麽會這樣？！

好辛苦好累

why suddenly i will be so negative? why suddenly i just hope things will just end now? why suddenly i just need people to talk to? why suddenly everything seems so dark? sigh.. i am lost.. really really lost.. need some support from people around.. something i hate is i don't like people which i kinda angry with to know where are my where about. and it happened.. my feelings, my thoughts, did you ever care? did you ever bother? maybe Taiwanese thoughts are this way? i don't know.. thinking.. and thinking.. no more standing on the firm ground which i used to be.. no more firm with the decisions i made.. sigh.. where am i?

不好的感覺...很好的經驗

是怎樣？這種感覺很差！真的是這樣下去真的一切就算了...很討厭一個朋友竟然就是帶著利用..心理真的很不舒服..

昨晚第一次騎車上阿里山..雖然刺激，不過很危險...現在因該沒辦法玩什麽東西了，手受傷了...想說去阿里山閃個心結果有了這種絕句，好痛...

life is really miserable here. today the housemate left back home for Macau thanks alot bro for accompanying me last night.. good and bad experience for me... maybe next time when i am better..just feeling all the pain on my hand now sigh... people are going back one by one.. i have the same feeling too.. i have the feeling to go home.. i miss peeps in m'sia.. but there are just things i can't let go here.. dispite all this, i am still getting misunderstanding of my statement and being blamed for it..

don't know why, i just really hope this last few days before you go back to taipei you could spend it with me.. somehow it's just a weird feeling but the fact is i really do miss you alot... and this holiday will be almost 3 months.. if everything goes smoothly ill be looking for you at least 2 times a month..

how nice if you were here beside me...

let my hands free let the bird fly

is it time?

time to let things go?

forget about the past and move on to the future?

time changes everything, money cant buy time

if friends are only worth because of money, i think that's too much.


gotten a job.. bloody hell some 1 only paying me RM20 per hour to teach english.. how lame.. my petrol cost will be about that price! sigh.. so not logical.. some 1 give me some ideas? semester has end and the temptation to go back home is really really strong recently..

why i don't want to go back?

why i have those temptations?

why does this feeling seems never ending?

somehow i should listen to what Mandy S has told me.. maybe i am blinded by everything.. take a break =) yeah i think i should.. lets go on holiday..

一切可能是這樣是因爲很多感覺都很奇怪，我不喜歡朋友那麽對我，感覺是利用...很討厭很討厭..今天心情很不好不知道要和誰說...好希望有個人可以聼我的心事，好無奈...

good night people..

lies and lies..

sigh.. world full of lies..

fed up.. tired of everything..

just dam tired..

i want to leave this place..

why cant you just tell the truth?

full of lies...

so lonely so lonely..

i guess the answer is there just i am denying it.

questions and questions..

can you just tell me the conclusion?

i am really fed up and really really lazy

what are the choices left? any more alternatives?

out of all these what did i get?

where are those days that we had?

is it really those words you told me years back true?

Saw and Seen what things is. Hoping for a better future.

things just suck hard core and. i have the urge to go back despite the boring back home.

hoping to be happier and having more friends here

sleepless nights and feeling hungry sigh..

人都會犯賤，有感覺了就不要問嘛，問了就不開心...想知道的東西真的太多有些事情真的不要知道比較好...好奇想知道很不好...怎麽我和你說的事情有人會知道？好難過...是剛巧嗎？朋友給我一句話真的好感動

Mandy S says:
You're just worried that you cant predict what's happen next between you and her,after you left
you dont even feel a sense of secure ,when you;re just around
what if you're miles far away from the lady?
saw how she treated on you
when we went out for dinner
she's tryna keep some distance from you
when friends are surround

真實嗎？好想知道
bye people

想法，無奈，擔心

一個想法原來因爲自己的主意就會得罪人了，對不起...再次傷了你的心...好希望這幾天不會終止，不過明天就是星期二了...好希望你這個感覺可以爲此個3個月那我就有機會了...很多事情都感覺很無奈，怎麽了？是不是真的當局者迷？

這個是這學期的最後一周，又要分開的時候了...暑假是不是因該回去？雖然我們剛剛分開個2-3小時，我已經想念你了..每一分鐘都在想你再干嘛...好希望你都能在我身邊..

有個問題我想從新回答，我會因一個人而變，不過她一定要是值得我去改變自己..不過有些事情是不可能改變的...

只希望你開心你身體健康...

conditions?

let go those thoughts.. trust me, it will be better for you.. not denying i will have a chance that way..
besides that trust me the ending will be a good ending.. please do not think of negative things.. i beg you..

sorry for everything that i had made you unhappy.. sorry for everything that i had hurt you.. i really do love you.. please give me a chance

Understanding a statement

good lesson that i had attended.. really good 1... thanks for the lecture that you asked me to accompany you.. i learned alot.. and yes.. obviously thank you miss man for your consultation.. it did help me also =)

i only want to know 1 thing.. do you have feelings for me.. thats all i want to know.. thats all it matters.. even though you mean alot to me but if i am willing to work hard for the relationship and you don't then there is no point..

giving up at this point is just avoiding the problem.. really really hope everything would go for the better..

lost in time..

words of others influence you that much?
after so many words spoken its a total no use?
if i am wrong please correct me.. really hoping to sort things out face to face..
let me know.. let me know.. what are your thoughts..
really hoping for things to work out..
avoiding is not solving the problem.. give both of us a chance..
you remember what we spoke last night?

playing with fire..

what have i done? fire which is actually very big cant be put out by a cup of water.. so whats going on? mistakes i have made.. sorry about that.. sorry if those words hurt you badly.. it didn't exactly mean what it mean.. it was simply a word out of my mouth trying to get confirmation from you.. hope has become less and less sigh.. what is the exact problem with you pulling back?

btw... reen thanks for picking up my call 1.30am in the morning.. that really made my day.. though the advice you give i am not following.. knowing me right? i miss m'sia really really want to go back.. miss my friends.. miss my home.. sigh.. suddenly sky here is just so dark.. could some 1 hold a candle for me?

thoughts can be changed if there is a will.. don't give up so soon.. because i am not giving up..

better way?

這樣解決很好嗎？一切真的是這樣？
感覺方面或感情方面培養出來了爲什麽要有收回的感覺？還是是我自己多想？
感覺不出討論了什麽結果，爲什麽每次都這樣？是我的問題嗎？
很多話説了出去就不能收回，一句傷害你的開玩笑就能給我死了。對不起
想說的話應該都說完了...很不想回到原點，不想保留在此...
我真的對你不好嗎？
一切是我想太多嗎？
感覺真的是這樣嗎？
好無奈，好白喫...爲什麽我那麽天真？明知道自己都在猶豫了...
好難受...不要這樣的結果好不好？

everything seems so smooth recently but now.. its just some screw up... i really don't know why you will tell me that the feeling has faded or becoming less.. what has the people around you influenced you? what made you thought so? loads of questions in my mind without an answer.. answer that you cant give me.. sigh.. another relationship which is most probably going to end this way... Moody...

Loving You

thoughts come after thoughts, whats going on? maybe its because what you told me yesterday. really worried and those thoughts really made me sick.. really really do care about you.. really really do love you.. i really need the same confirmation.. gone all out hoping for some return.. but not this type of return. i am looking for a long term relationship not some relationship like this. i hate it...

想了太多太多...對自己說是我的錯讓你那麽想...真的很不因該沒控制好自己..對不起...我真的好想知道你到底怎麽想我，好想痛痛快快在所有人面前牽著你的手說我愛你...可以告訴我你的所有嗎？

Lost...

what are your thoughts?
what happened?
why you cant accept now?
what are the reasons?
where are you now?
what made you thought of those?

so many questions in my mind.. hoping you to answer me.. want to know your everything.. is that possible?

feeling lost.. feeling lonely.. feeling weird.. hate these feelings.. whats going on?

好想好想知道你的所有，可以告訴我嗎？你今天告訴我你想太多，到底怎麽了？可以把事情完全告訴我嗎？好擔心好擔心...我真的是愛你的有時候不知道怎麽表達...好無奈，一切不要這樣好嗎？

whats going on?

once again... this type of relationship.. sigh.. hate it.. confirmed today..
很重要...好擔心，不喜歡這種感覺...不想等3個月
好無奈，真的好無奈...
希望一切沒事情...
晚安

說的話...

你和我說的那番話...爲什麽？
你清醒嗎？我真的不想你不開心，好擔心...
我是怎麽作了才讓你這麽想？
好無奈，快崩潰了...好想知道你心裏到底是怎麽想的...
working hard enough for a result does not mean working in the right way..
understanding someone well enough does not mean you can control him/her
loving someone that beautiful, only thing can be done is except her everything.
好希望那些事情你真的有一個答案...

Tired..

have been thinking too much today.. no idea how would this problem of mine is going to be solved. feeling all restless everyday just hoping some miracle would happen. Am i too rush? or i am just being too paranoid? sigh.. i really don't know what to say..

i am really that all poor in talking.. am really poor in understanding people.. really frustrated with my life.. when will it end? the ending of this problem now will be me avoiding the facts.. is it my problem or yours? well i have gotten my answer.. hoping a confirmation from you. sometimes words hurt another person but it does actually make the person feel better. maybe at that particular moment the person will be all emo but the next moment after serious thoughts things will be better as the truth has been spoken. this is what i am hoping for..

being naive with the situation.. since when i am such a naive person? sigh.. every single person is growing up every moment but me? i am actually getting from bad to worst.. hopefully i have really learn my lesson this time...

because of loneliness a person would actually think more negative stuff than ever? i think i need to get my time more occupied, more meaningful. hoping for a better living.. thats all for today..

心...

真的是這樣嗎？
想后真的有少少，我會改過...
想不到我真的不是給你快樂而是一直在傷害你...
對不起，給我點時間改好不好？
脾氣不好對不起...
態度不好對不起...
大男人主義很強嗎？
想不到大家都在成長我就在哪裏落後...
好想好想有一個肯定...
好想好想一切都能快速解決...
原來造成那麽多的不愉快...對不起
我真的缺了哪顆心...我會想辦法補救...
當局者迷，原來我真的是那麽的幼稚...
好希望那天時間就在哪裏停留..
想不到我的本人反應真的那麽的慢...
所有的一切都在改變...
我一定要努力挽回一切的感覺..
對不起...sorry

once again..

changes.. i hate changes.. really hate it.. sigh.. every moment different thoughts, how could i even understand you? please enlighten me..

once again.. the same thing happened.. knowing i hate a relationship which has no confirmation...once again.. its this way... i hate it.. really really hate it...

Being Beside You..

every day.. every moment.. time passes
hoping every second of the time i would be able to spend with you
every 1 knows life is as a brief candle
praying hard the next moment you will be beside me.
loving you for who you are
accepting you for what you are
hoping you will be beside me forever.
waiting for your reply, waiting for your call
those time of awaiting is full of suffering
hoping to have the chance to hug you and never let you go.
loving you is not a coincidence, accept it..
day by day waiting for a answer that you will be with me,
suffering every moment hoping the answer will be given soon and it will be yes
working hard.. working hard... please feel my heart
I love you..

Thoughts..

every 1 has different thoughts.. and yes i cant agree more with that.. i didnt know understanding some 1 will be that hard.. i really only want the best out of you.. not hoping for any other things..

hoping for an answer.. not rushing you.. but hoping it will be soon

An Affair..

is this right or wrong?
enjoyed the moment i spent with you today but.. is this really right?
whats the relationship between us?
i can't really accept doing these stuff but there is not a relationship between us.
to me, it is better for you to have a name better than a nobody as people will say things.
maybe you don't really mind, but i do.
worried about your everything, your actions is the main factor.
am not certain about what your thoughts are.. really hoping you would tell me everything.
Loving you because of who you are, accepting everything of you, your pros and cons.
Hoping for a good ending is what i really want.
feelings could be developed during relationship.

好想我們真的是在一起，很困難嗎？
我愛你會接受你所有。
真的真的好想今天那段時間不是那麽短的，可以嗎？
好害怕，好無奈。
只想你會回答我，我願意儅你的女朋友。。。

i'm waiting for you..

waiting.....
for everything out of you
for the better, for love
time is given, till when i can wait?
words cant explain my feeling, just hoping for the answer that i have waited for a long time...
i don't know what can make you feel touched..
only words i can say is i love you with all my heart..


等待你的答案，好希望是我想到的結局
能不能成真？好希望你能有勇氣面對以前的事情，給自己一次機會。
有個男朋友很大的可能會活得比現在快樂
我只能說我愛你，希望能給你最好的一切。

Done...

一切的問題可以討論，説道明白。。
只需要一次機會來證明一切。。沒損失的。。
可以放下一次那麽多嗎？就一次
沒有什麽很大的要求，會盡量給你我能給到的最好。。

好煩，學校出了公文。不好的事情一個個接著，好傷心

說完了

該說的都說了，希望你有想到一個好答案。
我對你的感覺你因該知道，不用我多說。
我心裏想聽到的答案，因該不可能從你口中說出來，不過是希望會聽到。
你的反應真的很奇怪，還是我的想法奇怪？
好無奈，好不快樂，希望問題很快能解決

好想面對面和你說幾句話，不過感覺你因該不肯過來了吧


建霖，小揉和阿建謝謝你們的生日禮物。。
bros and sis thanks for the warm wishes, those really made my day....
even those we didnt contact for a long time remembered by birthday, thanks..

生日又如何?怎麽沒開心的感覺?

生日..21嵗了
願望有兩個,一切如此就好.
希望不只是這樣

times are spent memories are remembered, love is there chance not given.. sigh...

擔心了整晚，這就是我的生日禮物，生日的今天心情很不好，很不開心。。。好希望能離開，好希望有個人陪我讓我開心，讓我快樂。。。

好累，好累

精神上的累，你到底想什麽？
好好的體力被精神引向，埃
對自己的肯定漸漸減少
感覺好無奈。

和你說聲對不起，希望你能原諒
怎麽最近的態度都差了？
我敏感了？

好多疑問
請解答我所有的疑問
好想回到以前，一切的改變我都能接受
只不想改變一點，但暫時看到改變最大就是這個

好不開心，好累
who knows?
who cares?

guessing another hopeless ending
down down down.. when is it going to be stable?

一切的無奈

一段路雖然可以自己走，一個人走會很孤獨也很危險
擔心一個人的感覺真的不好受，當時堅持自己的想法就不會有今天。
所有的一切已近開始改變，昨天開始。
告訴你了，一切一定會有改變，現在感覺最大的改變是你對我的態度。
每次問到只和我說是我想太多，到底是不是？
好無奈，好不開心

昨天去台中純粹是爲了善心，怎知道一天的旅程又有不開心的完畢。
我也要付點責任，對不起。

一切的變化業不在我手裏控制，希望一切不像夢裏那樣的結束。
好不開心。。好希望有個人可以陪我。爲什麽感覺那麽孤獨？

Changes..loneliness, sadness

真的很不想一切的改變...最不想要有的改變是我們的關係
追進的改變非常的大，可能這一切就是因爲他們...

being closed to you is just because of them?
we are friends its because of them?
changes because i shifted?

好不想有變化，我搬出去的理由我很想告訴別人，心裏很不舒服... 這幾天忙的過程很不開心，想告訴人家，雖能接個耳朵給我？我是不是不被歡迎了？好不開心，誰可以聼聼我的心事？好無奈.希望21嵗生日所有都是假的，好希望生日那天有個人陪我聊聊... 或者生日那天就可能預料之中的一個人自己過...

歌手：溫嵐 | 作曲：周杰倫
　　填詞：鄭中庸 |

　　我知道傷心不能改變什麼
　　那麼　讓我誠實一點
　　誠實　難免有不能控制的宣洩
　　只要關上了門　不必理誰
　＊一個人坐在空蕩包廂裡面
　　手機　讓它休息一夜
　　難　像切歌切掉回憶的畫面
　　眼淚不能流過十二點
　　生日快樂　我對自己說
　　蠟燭點了　寂寞亮了
　　生日快樂　淚也融了
　　我要謝謝你給的你拿走的一切＊
　＃還愛你　帶一點恨
　　還要時間　才能平衡
　　熱戀傷痕　幻滅重生
　　祝我生日快樂＃
　　REPEAT＊＃＃

difference in culture

yeah...culture difference.. cant agree more ... people here and there though we are all humans but difference in culture really hard to adept...

自己做好自己的本分！<< this is what i really need to do.. sigh...

爲什麽要吊高來買？爲什麽事情要弄得那麽復炸？人類需要那麽復炸的想法嗎？埃好奇怪，好討厭...我需要的只是簡單的你，不想有什麽改變...希望我想知道的東西都能知道

a little quarrel

things have changed? maybe... well once sure with what i want i should be firm with it.. hopefully i wont be soft hearted again.. =)

loving a person is not easy.. maybe i don't even know how to love some one... i guess instead of trying harder i should just learn how to love the person...

recently feeling sad and lonely.. who can i talk to?

tag..

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: 烏龍綠
2. Last phone call: my Mum
3. Last text message: 鍋蓋
4. Last song you listened to: 美麗女人
5. Last time you cried: Don't Remember

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: Obviously
7. Been cheated on: Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Nope
9. Lost someone special: I think every 1 has
10. Been depressed: Yea, well knowing me all moody and all
11. Been drunk and threw up: Drunk? once.. Threw up? loads

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. Black
13. White
14. Blue

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a few friends: Nope, getting less... Feeling lonely lolx
16. Fallen out of love: sigh.. nope...
17. Laughed until you cried: yeah.. missed those times we had
18. Met someone who changed you: yup one..
19. Found out who your true friends were: yup, a few good ones...
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Back stabbed loads of times, biasa la
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Ermh... yup...
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Lost count
23. How many kids do you want to have: definately more than 1
24. Do you have any pets: Not currently, 2 of my dogs died
25. Do you want to change your name: Are you Crazy?
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Didn't celebrate it.
27. What time did you wake up today: 1.39pm
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: On my way out to a place
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: be together with her, leaving this country
30. Last time you saw your Mother: 4-5 months ago, miss her
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Wish i could speak better
32. What are you listening to right now: Sounds from the aquarium
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ermh i dont have any friends named tom
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: My house mates
35. Most visited webpage: facebook, blogger
36. Whats your real name: Chin Wai Xiang
37. Nicknames: loads, Monk, Fatty, 肥仔，胖子，胖哥，小胖
38. Relationship Status: Single..
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini
40. Male or female?: Male
41. Elementary?: Tadika Cendiakiawan
42. Middle School?: SRJK(C)Damansara
43. High school/college: Genting College, SM Stella Maris, Sunway University College, Nan Hua University(Taiwan)
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: Not short not Long
46. Height: 181CM
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yes i do
48. What do you like about yourself?: I don't know my self well also.. dont know
49. Piercings: None
50. Tattoos: None
51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: 3-4months old
53. First piercing: Don't even have piercings
54. First best friend: Jonathan Teoh
55. First sport you joined: Swimming
56. First vacation: Thailand
58. First pair of trainers: Forgotten

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Wont be feeling hungry if i am eating
60. Drinking: Soon will be
61. I'm about to:Get a Drink.
62. Listening to: Sound from Aquarium
63. Waiting on: A friend to reply me on MSN

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: Love kids
65. Get Married?: hmm... most probably
66. Career?: Anything as long as i get money

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs&kisses equally good
69. Shorter or taller: Middle height will be good
70. Older or Younger: Girls? around my age will do XX
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: lol... Dont give me spare tires
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive and Loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: Preferable relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: The person who tagged me? A MAJOR TROUBLE MAKER

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: Obviously nop
77. Drank hard liquor: Yeah
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't need them
79. Sex on first date: Nope..
80. Broken someone's heart: yes i guess
82. Been arrested: Yup few years ago.
83. Turned someone down: No as far as i remember.
84. Cried when someone died: Nope
85. Fallen for a friend?: If she's not my friend how would i fall for her?


DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: sometimes
87. Miracles: Sometimes
88. Love at first sight: Yeah
89. Heaven: Nope
90. Santa Claus: NOOOO
91. Kiss on the first date: hmm.. once in my life..
92. Angels: Nope...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Nope...
95. Did you sing today?: Yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nope...
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 7 years back
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: the day b4 i came to taiwan.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Most of the times..
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Just because wana satisfy that woman and make my self occupied...

Because of you...

Because of you life has never been the same
Because of you life are filled with color
Because of you even during the nights there is a moonlight
Because of you boring days just became filled with excitement
Because of you i have less sleepless nights
Because of you I dont feel lonely
Because of you time i only wish to spend with is you
Because of you my problems are solved
Because of you i have a little more guts in life
Because of you my life in taiwan just changed

Feeling lonely without your blessings and love, feeling the same being unsafe, not hoping for much just hoping for the confirmation as you have 1/2 the feelings i have for you. i guess that is all i need. are those about me? or only partially? i have no idea... hoping you would tell me..
please give me the light that i need.. really hoping for not nothing but everything. every second every minute just hoping to spend with you, if thats about me, give me the same confirmation as i am trying very hard to give you.

worry about your everything,hopefully given the chance to be there for you, taking care of you, loving you without pulling back, and i want to say is i love you too much to give up, loving you is my everything.

End of a Story

being funny and all does not mean you are all smart =) know what i mean? I am surely not a person good in talking, and thats for sure. love me for who i am and hate me for who i am too. till today i am still quite sure i give good advices and am a good listener. as long as you dont get issues to annoy me like you did.! Hate little secrets that keeps every thing in the world so not peaceful. wonder when could i leave this place and live in a place without secrets? yes i do hate lies though i tell them from time to time. some lies are good as they are white lies, it does not hurt any 1 even if the person knew the truth. hopefully you will learn how to tell the truth some day.

Am going for a quite unpleasent trip today as the person i dated don't really want to go. but she will be going. What's the outcome? i dont know.. not hoping for a better life but just hoping for a good day.

Again and again you broke my heart, telling me things that you dont want to do in the last minuite, prefered to be rejected at the first place than being given a hope going out with you. Hate it. The feelings i have for you has never changed, oh wait yes it has change, changing for the better. i have no idea what i do or what i had done wrong making you think this way about me. praying hard for a better day. waking up today seeing you by my bedside made me happy, the smile you had when you are asleep is just sweet.

我需要一個健康的身體！！需要一個很能了解我的人在我身邊，很希望你能接給我你的耳朵，聼聼我的心裏話。在和我說聲嗯。

一句話的後果

你們和我說的話都很矛盾，干嘛不直接說就好？要傷心就一次過就好了爲什麽要一時和我說的是希望一時和我說的是失望？很討厭這種感覺...

每天起來都很希望你的想法是如我妹妹所說的，据我的了解我都很難搞清楚不過也覺得是我妹所說。很希望一切不是這樣。多希望是有一次機會....

Mothers day

firstly happy mothers day to all the mothers out there..

yesterday was wesak day and yes i was vegetarian for a day.. came out successfully but 1 thing was after my meal and a little rest i became sick.. whole body full of rashes.. sigh... itchy and i feel all dizzy + having cold sweat.. thats about yesterday..

Do People Learn?
at first i thought i am the only 1 having this feeling in the end i found out today actually you also have this feeling.. is it the right way having a partnership this way? and what gives you the right to be the big boss? how much work have you done? please.. you really make me laugh...

最近感覺很奇怪，可能是我想太多，一個距離本來存在，現在的距離大了很多怎麽會這樣？
walaupun diberitahu tiada perasaan ini, tetapi saya pasti tentang perasaan saya. tentang kamu, mungkin bukan semua orang mempunyai perasaan yang sama.bila hampir mabuk seorang akan beritahu apa yang dia suka dalam hati dia..

lol you were right...

yeah.. should have listened to you from the start.. =) i guess its fated this way? thanks for all the advice..

decissions have to be made..

first things first i have already fucked up my life this semester.. and i really have to start bucking up.. first few things i have to decide;
1) should i change course
2) getting a transport
3) whether or not to go back this summer
4) what do i really want out of taiwan

whats going on recently?
as usual doing nothing at home day dream and just thinking of unnecessary stuff. it has to come to an end already. i have came back to taiwan since February 21st and today is already 4th of may. what have i done? N-O-T-H-I-N-G besides wasting money.

it has almost been 21 years i am in this world but what have i done so far? what have i contributed to my family? again.. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. why am i all moody recently? not really the pressure from my spouse or family. its the pressure i am giving my self. worrying would i graduate, feeling bad that i am wasting my time here while my parents are actually working so hard for my education fund. b4 coming to taiwan plans of graduating in 3 years has just bcome a dream again. hopefully this time i am serious about everything and start doing the things i want instead of being influenced by others.

about her, let everything be as- kenangan terindah (samsons)
Aku yang lemah tanpamu
Aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang tlah hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka
Sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun
aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku
Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang telah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah





Mood-emo,moody

找到了那個的勇氣

昨晚沒睡覺終于尋找到了很想和你說的那句話的勇氣，結果沒機會...或者機會是有的不過我不會把握..知道你來到了就要出門其實真的很失望...想到這個是值得的嗎？因爲一個字所以才堅持到現在，到現在也該看看自己是在那裏.終于有了那個勇氣願意面對一切..真的很希望在今天結束以前能辦到這一件事情...

昨天看到的那一目讓我領悟其實不管作什麽事情都好，都要有把握，凡是都不要看得太嚴重..就像那班小孩一樣，盡量抵達無憂無慮的想法活在天真活潑下... 這個也就是我看上你的一點...


beritahu kamu tentang apa yang saya fikir tentangmu,
beritahu kamu tentang sebab-sebab kamu menarikkan hati saya,
beritahu kamu tentang segala-gala yang saya tahu,
beritahu kamu tentang berapa penting kamu dalam hatiku,
beritahu kamu tentang kehidupan saya tanpamu,
beritahu kamu tentang saya cinta padamu,

beritahu saya tentang keputusan kamu,
beritahu saya kamu juga mempunyai rasa yang sama,
beritahu saya saya bukan mimpi saja,
beritahu saya kamu juga pasti,
beritahu saya kamu juga cinta sama saya.

kamu ialah segala hidup saya.


please give me a chance to prove everything to you...
If what he say was true;
1) dont have any doubt
2) give it a try
3) accept things as it is and be serious about it
4) give me the only chance i need


as i said i might be only dreaming, giving my self this chance to say out what ever i want to say, and hopefully i will live with the spirit of those kids, setting my self a target to hit but.. 99% chance it is not going to happen today, and i wont know when will be the next time i have the guts to tell you what i want to tell.. or maybe we just have no faith

a scene

went out today to a few places, not working, but having a little booze up in my mood. had been moody the past few days. there is 1 thing that i saw which made my day.

Kids- wondering can i be a kid again? saw a bunch of kids playing around the fountain having loads of fun. have nothing to worry about, in the kiddie world. 如果世界就是那麽的天真那麽的活潑那該多好，無憂無慮...back to the day of my childhood only happiness without sadness wondering if i could go back to those childhood days how good?

今天出門玩真的沒有無聊，剛剛好時間約出門也剛剛需要出門透透氣...謝謝你

出門之前的昨晚聽到了一個消息不知道是真是假，真的很想和你分享一下不過表錯情就不好了，好希望東西真的沒那麽的浮渣，就像那班小孩一樣.

disapointment 失望

once again another disappointment.. i guess people should know their own standings and be sure with their feelings. as for example me, knowing its impossible since the beginning getting disappointed again and again.. sigh where is that lucky star of mine? that one bright little star of mine was once the guidance/ light to my road. where is that light? or some one will just be so kind to enlighten me?

一次次的失望什麽時候才可以站起來？期待...
hope you will recover fast...


aduih ype, ko tipu sama saya, cakap akan update ko punya blog.. sampai bila la nak update? dah tunggu berapa hari nih..

Time Flies

unmeaning full life is a total waste of time. being bored at home for this few days. hate my daily routine, nothing much special! being bored, being all emo is all i do...

songs popping up in my mind;
1: Kenangan Terindah
2. 勇氣
3. 美麗女人
4. 傻瓜
5. Love You

Hopefully these type of life would just end this moment and have something meaningful to do.


About you, every moment is just so hard to pass without you. Controlled and controlled but in the end i gave up. I am poor in talking. No idea why but i have to admit i don't have this problem during high school days. wonder whats bugging me in my mind. All i just hope is you to be beside me at all times. Only thinking but i doubt its possible.

Thats all for now..

This way...

這個決定早就因該作了，不用浪費那麽多的時間，金錢和心力..那麽對待你不過在你心裏我可能只是一個路過的人完全不重要....昨晚問了你一個問題讓我很失望.. 你給我的答案讓我覺得我真的很笨...希望我這次是做到而不是說說而已... 説不定這一切都會是一個完美的結局....


things should be better this way i guess or it should be this way from the beginning? counting the days i left home and what i have done here. what was my initial aim coming here? graduate in 3 and 1/2 years in the end i wasted 1 year here.. decisions has been made hopefully changing for the better. That's about my study area.

My love life is kinda leading me to a frustration form. frustrated with my self for not working hard enough, not paying enough attention, looking at some unnecessary areas of the relationship. as for now is that word F-R-I-E-N-D in your dictionary? or it's just some other lame senior junior shit? had always been very sensitive with that word. always have this shit problem.


life here in taiwan is like so god damn boring.. my daily routines are like waking up between 10-12pm and then clean up the front yard of the house, getting back in front of my computer , starting to read blogs that i left out the night before, chat with some people and have 1 meal a day. sometimes not even a meal. about 9pm feed the dogs at home, start gaming after that and sleep between 2.30am-5am.. what a boring life right? and i know i am wasting my time.. don't lecture me about that.

giving my self a target. by next week i would make a decision wheter to go back to m'sia anot this holiday. it all depends on 1 person... sigh i don't know what to do anymore. 3 plans;
Plan 1)
dont go back at all, stay here and just continue with my current boring life still uni reopens

Plan 2)
go back right after the uni exams end. which is 28th of june and come back to taiwan on 25th of september.

Plan 3)
Depart taiwan somewhere early aug and come back before uni reopens..


people out there reading this give me some ideas =) which plan should i stick with? absondminded..

time for bed nitez

謝謝正妹..

thanks leng lui sis.. for giving me all the support i need... giving me all the 勇氣that i need in order to make this decision. about the previous post i think i got an idea on what things are happening. maybe she is thinking the way you told me as i thought of that before also. hopefully that's the fact i shall give it a try. if it does not work at least i have tried and worked hard for it. again Thanks sis..


搬家的時間就距離了2個月決定好了要搬也和他們說了. 不過怎麽我會那麽不開心？感覺會有許多變化？希望這個感覺快點離去也不希望這種事情會發生... 今天又下雨了不知道會下到什麽時候。這是這刻很想很想你在我旁邊給我一個擁抱在和我說聲加油。

一句話...

別人說的話是不是因該聼？還是靠自己的直覺？直覺可能是錯的嗎？

當事人對了她的朋友說了一些話，不知什麽時候的話今天傳來了我的耳邊. 我的直覺不是這樣的，不過她從前的一句話讓我不敢亂想. 怎麽辦？已經兩個人告訴我這件事情了，再加上一個人的奸笑。是怎麽辦？她給我的感覺是不上不下的，到底哪一個才是真確的感覺？

questions questions and questions.. spinning in my mind.. when would i learn how to make a decision firmly and without regrets? where did my guts went? sigh...

life here in taiwan really stinks recently. problems here and there. i really need opinion from few people regarding some stuff which i don't want to state here. kinda a urgent matter to attend to. alot of things to consider including friendship, love, transport, and other stuff... those questions above in mandrin hopefully some 1 could just answer me without asking me who it is.. hate ups and downs in life, when my life could be just a straight line?

雨天+心情=不好

本來以爲友好事情會發生，結果氣在頭上...一切都不順利

你走下車時我真的猶豫要不要打給你還是讓你走。
結果還是真的不捨得你那麽做就把你叫回來。
真的好生氣，爲什麽只爲了我不想告訴你一件事情你就走下車？
無所謂，最後覺得嗯，其實是我的錯因爲我不告訴你，就這樣原諒了你在責怪了自己。
接下來就是你說好了就會打給我，還說了12點之後。我11點。15分就被人罵了問什麽時候回去。
得到的結果就是沒結果的等待，氣人的是你和我說要睡了。
這樣就過了。到了太保還要被人罵個夠好不開心。
在那裏見到了螢火蟲就想到了你，覺得很多事情都很想和你說只是無法開口。
希望我真的有一天有哪個勇氣告訴你我想對你說的東西。


Dear sis, thanks for your support.. but things really didnt go so well.. sigh... how i wish i was back home and you were there to teman me.. really really miss home after what happen yesterday..

勇气

今天是你的生日,祝你生日快樂.很多話在我心裏很想和你說不知道如何和你開口.最後選擇寫在我部咯個裏希望有一天你會看到.

多希望我有哪個勇氣和你說我愛你
多希望我有哪個勇氣和你說聲謝謝

誰可以給我那個勇氣?

終於作了這個決定　別人怎麼說我不理
只要你也一樣的肯定
我願意天涯海角都隨你去　我知道一切不容易
我的心一直溫習說服自己　最怕你忽然說要放棄

愛真的需要勇氣　來面對流言蜚語
只要你一個眼神肯定　我的愛就有意義
我們都需要勇氣　去相信會在一起
人潮擁擠我能感覺你　放在我手心裡　你的真心

如果我的堅強任性　會不小心傷害了你
你能不能溫柔提醒
我雖然心太急　更害怕錯過你

生日快樂郭羽珊

My Fear?

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Death
Disappointment
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Turning point

things has changed but some how i still feel really unhappy. I managed to continue with my studies currently by able to pay my school fees. sadly 1 thing is i havent been to classes for about 3 weeks and i don't know whats going on in uni. the bad feeling i had before i came back to taiwan at m'sia that something will happen this semester and it did... a big problem and big changes in life here.

as i said before i really need some 1 to talk to here it self in taiwan. sigh.. found no 1, no 1 is trustable.. the only source of entertainment and thing to cheer me up is my computer and its games which are starting to bore me. god save me.. i would like to thank my dear sister of mine PE for cheering me up this few days while i am really really down.. and yea thanks for everything...

thats all for now =( bye

moody...

being moody recently.. no idea what 2 blog about .. interested to know? ask me

bad choice...

this semester i don't know wheter i did a good choice anot.. i didn't study.. i used the school fees money to invest in some business.. sigh.. extremely moody now.. some 1 save me

rainy day

it has been raining here for few days .. starting to hate the weather here.. 20-26 degrees daily but wind is very strong which makes the weather here cold.. thats about the weather part.. last friday i went to the doctor and guess what, i am sick.. have problem with my back brain, liver, stomach, kidney, lungs and 胃... i hate eating medicine but what the heck.. i have to.. don't want to suffer that much.. and these few days suffering because of my nose.. nose blocked== sigh

realized something, somehow i am just affraid to face her.. i don't know why... it is just a feeling. a few possiblilities which are because of my housemate which actually spoilt my immage infront of her and/or 過渡的擔心和疼愛. no idea why.... she told me something recently which is 你太幼稚了== sigh.. am i that immatured?regarding this, a friend came to visit my place yesterday and she said that a guy which is going after her is so childish.. but her friend said he is not, but he only is when he is infront of you. this made me think is it because guys who are really really serious about a r/s and really care too much about the girl will actually let the girl think that this dude thinks that she is a kid and his actions are really childish? any 1 please enlighten me =(

today is monday and class is starting at 10am and its like 1.15am here .. i cant sleep.. thinking too much i guess.. i need my life back.. sigh.. really really do need it back.. well thats all..

我心中的美麗女人

had been listening to this 美麗女人this song for the past few days. some how it really let me think alot about my love life.. the whole song is just related to her...

還記得那年下雨的冬天 還記得那年我和你的情人節 還記得嗎三年以前 我記得和你相愛的那年 我記得那間路邊的咖啡店 我還記得 那一瞬間 被愛的感覺已消失不見 所有的痛藏在心裡面 在愛與不愛之間 看著你哭泣的臉 你是我這一生想要的美麗女人 你是我這一輩子最難忘的人 你是我傷心的時候 離不開的人 你是我這一生想要的美麗女人 你是我這一輩子最難忘的人 你是我寂寞的時候離不開的人 愛怎麼可能變得那麼的殘忍 你是我心中一個美麗女人 我記得和你相愛的那年 我記得那間路邊的咖啡店 我還記得 那一瞬間 被愛的感覺已消失不見 所有的痛藏在心裏面 在愛與不愛之間 看著你哭泣的臉 你是我這一生想要的美麗女人 你是我這一輩子最難忘的人 你是我傷心的時候 離不開的人 你是我這一生想要的美麗女人 你是我這一輩子最難忘的人 你是我寂寞的時候離不開的人 你是我這一生想要的美麗女人 你是我這一輩子最難忘的人 你是我傷心的時候 離不開的人 你是我這一生想要的美麗女人 你是我這一輩子最難忘的人 你是我寂寞的時候離不開的人 愛怎麼可能變得那麼的殘忍 你是我心中一個美麗女人

no idea when only i can be over her.. but getting over her is not what i want.. starting a journey is what i want to have.. possible or impossible? lets see how things go =( had a good chat with her for the past few days seems like things have changed again.. hopefully to the better side but somehow i still feel there is a big gap between us.. no idea why.. a feeling is the gap is caused by my housemate.. sigh... cut these crap .. thanks pe and reen for cheering me up the other day love you all loads =)

today i bought a dog.. husky it is only going to reach my house next week 9 days time =) shall take picture of it and upload it as soon as possible =) take care people

Back in taiwan

I am back in taiwan finally =.= why am i saying this? because its like so god dam boring back in m'sia nothing to do.. and now i am back but loads of things have changed sigh...

done my selection of subjects, 25 credit hours this semester hopefully i will be able to cope well.. even though i came back to taiwan, but don't know why i feel so unhappy here and i am currently worried abt suria and that kiddo shereen mak.. wonder whats wrong with them... sigh.. hopefully they will be fine =)

Tagged by Cindle

People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs.
Tag 10 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.
These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
Continue this game by sending it to other people.
I tagged:
who ever wants to do this.

01. What have you been doing recently ?
' ' Sleeping in the car

02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off ?
' ' No. Unless necessary.

03. What had happened at 10.00am today ?
' ' Sleeping in the car while returning home from Taipei

04. When did you last cry ?
' ' Last year

05. Believe in fate/destiny ?
' ' Yes.

06. What do you want in your life right now ?
' ' Money and a Girlfriend

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood ?
' ' No, because i have a car to sit in

08. What's your favourite thing to have on your bed ?
' ' My girlfriend

09. What bottom are you wearing now ?
' ' Shorts

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox say ?
' ' Cleared my inbox b4 doing this

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated ?
' ' Absolutely not.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone ?
' ' Nothing

13. What was the last movie you caught ?
' ' Pink Phanter 2

14. What are you proud of ?
' ' Having few really good friends that will listen to my problems

15. What does the oldest message in your inbox says ?
' ' Cleared my inbox!!

16. What was the last song you sang out loud ?
' ' 無樂不作-范亦臣

17. Do you have any nicknames ?
' ' Sean, Fei Hai, Xiao Pang.

18. What does you last received text message say ?
' ' =.= Don't wana let you know...

19. What time did you go to bed last night ?
' ' 2am

20. Are you currently happy ?
' ' Normal.

21. Who gives you best advice ?
' ' Suria

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can ?
' ' No. I hate cream =.=

23. Who did you talk on phone last night ?
' ' My mum

24. Is anyone bugging you right now ?
' ' No 1, Just reached home..

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh ?
' ' My Hse mate Casper Chan.

26. Do you wear toe socks ?
' ' No.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from ?
' ' My mum =.=

28. Have you ever had your heart broken ?
' ' Obviously =.= let me know if you never had this

29. What annoys you most in a person ?
' ' Some Screwed up feller which is so annoying

30. Do you have a crush on anyone ?
' ' Yup... ask me =)

31. Have you ever done cocaine ?
' ' Obviously no.. Why on earth i want to try that =.=

32. What is the colour of your room ?
' ' White in Taiwan , Light green in M'sia

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars ?
' ' =.= i rather keep the money for my own use

34. Do you believe in the saying of: talk is cheap ?
' ' Yes yes yes!!! 亞太 Call for free in the same network!

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed ?
' ' Shereen =.=

36. Who was the last person to hug you ?
' ' 鍋蓋

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed ?
' ' YES =.= MY MUM!!!

38. Do you have a life ?
' ' Obviously　who does not?

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't die ?
' ' Do i look like i am so evil =.=

40. What is the reason behind your profile song ?
' ' Don't have any profile song

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream ?
' ' 鍋蓋

42. Last time you smiled ?
' ' Few min ago Casper was cracking some joke...

43. Have you changed this year ?
' ' Yea.. Slim down a little? and you figure out the rest?

44. What are you listening right now ?
' ' None...

45. Are you talking to someone when you're doing this ?
' ' Nope..

46. Do you walk with your eyes opened or closed ?
' ' I have a pair of good eyes and i don't want to get blind.

47. Is there a quote you live by ?
' ' Nope

48. Do you want someone you cannot have ?
' ' YES.

49. Have you ever played an instrument ?
' ' Piano,guitar,flute,saxophone.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in this week ?
' ' Coming back to Taiwan before uni starts 1 week =.= BORED TO DEATH...

51. What are you doing last night at 11pm ?
' ' Chatting to Durian's parents =.=

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
' ' Don't have a love life anymore =(

53. What song best describe your love life ?
' ' 勇氣,曖昧

54. Does the person know that you like him/her ?
' ' Yup, For what if you gonna hide to your self when the person don't know you love her?

55. Who always make you laugh ?
' ' Shereen, Suria, Casper, 7Zai(Kent)

56. Do you speak other language other than English ?
' ' Yea.

57. Favourite website(s) ?
' ' www.lowyat.net

58. What's your middle name ?
' ' Wai Xiang

59. What are you doing tomorrow ?
' ' No idea.. Uni havent start.. Most probably sitting infront of the computer

60. What do you think you are like ?
' ' A random guy

61. Who will you choose to die with ?
' ' I wana die alone

62. Where have you been today ?
' ' As i said just reached home from Taipei

63. What game do you play often ?
' ' Dota

64. Who are you missing right now ?
' ' Hmm.. Ask me personally XP

65. If you have to choose between friend and love, who will you choose ?
' ' Love.

66. What are you doing right now ?
' ' Cracking my head off doing this TAG

67. Which primary school are you from ?
' ' SJK(C) Damansara

68. Name 3 colours that you like ?
' ' Black, White, Blue

69. What emotion you like to show ?
' ' =.=

70. What is your life to you ?
' ' Suffering

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do ?
' ' Talk to Suria, Shereen and sometimes 鍋蓋

72. Who did you last chat in msn today ?
' ' no 1, just reached home mah .

73. Who do you admire most ?
' ' My Mum

74. Which month are you born in?
' ' May

75. How are you feeling right now ?
' ' Tired and Bored

76. What is the time now ?
' ' 12.33pm

77. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is ?
' ' A girl that is cute and funny, nice person

78. What colour did you use to dye hair ?
' ' Dark Brown

79. Why are you doing this test ?
' ' To keep my blog updated and because Cindle tagged me

80. What do you do when you're moody ?
' ' Keep quiet during occasions, Drink alcohol, or talk to some 1

81. At which age you wish to get married ?
' ' 28-33

82. Who is more important to you ?
' ' Friends, Family

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do ?
' ' Have all the fun that i can have and meet the person that i want to meet most

84. Who is the person you trust the most ?
' ' Suria

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain ?
' ' Absolutely.

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be ?
' ' Have all the love i want and all the money that i can have.

87. What is your goal for this year ?
' ' studies, relationship, friendship everything goes smooth.

88. Do you believe in eternity love ?
' ' No currently

89. What feeling do you love most ?
' ' Feeling of love

90. Do you really think it's global warming now ?
' ' Yes

91. What feeling do you hate the most ?
' ' Being left out.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours ?
' ' Yes.

93. Do you believe in God ?
' ' Yup

94. Who cares for you most ?
' ' My family and friends

95. What do you think is the most important thing in you life ?
' ' Money. Without money i can't live in life.

96. What will you bring when you fight ?
' ' Obviously anger

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
' ' Having this so called heng dai

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
' ' Sad.. but still have to move on

99. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?
' ' Kantoi

100. How do you feel now?
' ' stress. -.-